We came home from dinner Friday night to find Jäger sitting among the scattered remains of my petrified keepsake. From the look in his guilt-ridden eyes, it was clear he sensed he'd done wrong. I sentenced him to a couple of hours in the crate to think things over, but the deed was done. The bagel was no more.
Knowing how much it meant to me, my brother-in-law kindly suggested that I save Jäger's next poop and allow it to petrify until suitable for display. He reasoned that it wouldn't be anymore disgusting than setting a nearly-decade-old bagel out on public display. I thought about it for a minute, but ultimately decided against the petrified poop. Jäger's been known to eat that stuff too.
7 comments:
Your poor dog is probably going to be sick. I'd hate to be there when he passes that thing. I imagine that will be quite an interesting smell. YUCK!
Maybe that was what you needed to finally shut that chapter in your life Marc. You can start to move on now.
Now we just need Jager to eat your copy of Pulp Fiction and you could turn out to be a well-adjusted adult.
That was me btw.
Woah folks!
I gave that beauty to marc. Unlike a twinkie that is made by some heartless hostess machine, marc himself baked it in the wee hours of the morning. (Right now a tear is slowly rolling down my cheek.) My only consolation is I have its twin sitting at my house right now. That circular treasure represents late night gambling, early morning baking, and the high school-college-mission transition. I hate to say it, but the dog needs to be killed.
I guess it is karma for my broken A&W mug. You could replace it, but it means a lot less.
Sheldon - Nothing I ever do is good enough for you, is it?! IS IT?!!!
Tara - One would think so... but it seems to have passed just fine. He's actually tried getting at the crumbs that are now sitting on my desk, so he must have enjoyed it.
Mrs. McDreamy - I'm going to have to get Jäger to eat a whole lot more than that if I hope to turn into a well-adjusted adult.
BA - Yeah, reading it back now I can see that. It had a bit of an asshole ring to it so it makes sense that it was you and not your wife.
Treidi - It warms the heart to know that your bagel is still in the world. We'll always have the Brueg' my friend. We'll always have the Brueg.'
Woo - So my replacing that bloody mug doesn't warrant an end to the harrassment, eh? Just be careful Woo... I still have nude photos of you in Powell you know.
I was a lot more devastated to see the remains than I thought I would be. Pure empathy for Marc, of course, but looking at the pathetic remains now is pretty depressing. Bagel, I'm sorry I let Jager roam the house unsupervised. You'll be missed.
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