Monday, August 21, 2006

Blueberry Memories Revisited

Just over eight months ago I wrote about an odd memento that sits atop my desk... or should I say sat. It was a nine-year-old blueberry bagel loaded with sentimental value. Now all that sentimental value is rotting in my dog's digestive tract.

We came home from dinner Friday night to find Jäger sitting among the scattered remains of my petrified keepsake. From the look in his guilt-ridden eyes, it was clear he sensed he'd done wrong. I sentenced him to a couple of hours in the crate to think things over, but the deed was done. The bagel was no more.

Knowing how much it meant to me, my brother-in-law kindly suggested that I save Jäger's next poop and allow it to petrify until suitable for display. He reasoned that it wouldn't be anymore disgusting than setting a nearly-decade-old bagel out on public display. I thought about it for a minute, but ultimately decided against the petrified poop. Jäger's been known to eat that stuff too.

10 comments:

Sheldon said...

Dear sweet almighty. You FINALLY got rid of the picture of Mel Gibson's drunk face, which stared at me for over a week. But your follow up is to post the remnants of a ten year old stale bagel and then describe petrified poop exiting from a german-sounding dog? These are the images that I now will associate with your blog every time I visit? Marc...

Sheldon said...

On the other hand, it is pretty sweet that you kept that bagel ten years. You should consider twinkies. They dont go stale after sitting out ten years.

Tara said...

Your poor dog is probably going to be sick. I'd hate to be there when he passes that thing. I imagine that will be quite an interesting smell. YUCK!

Mrs. McDreamy said...

Maybe that was what you needed to finally shut that chapter in your life Marc. You can start to move on now.

Now we just need Jager to eat your copy of Pulp Fiction and you could turn out to be a well-adjusted adult.

BA said...

That was me btw.

Treidi said...

Woah folks!

I gave that beauty to marc. Unlike a twinkie that is made by some heartless hostess machine, marc himself baked it in the wee hours of the morning. (Right now a tear is slowly rolling down my cheek.) My only consolation is I have its twin sitting at my house right now. That circular treasure represents late night gambling, early morning baking, and the high school-college-mission transition. I hate to say it, but the dog needs to be killed.

woo said...

I guess it is karma for my broken A&W mug. You could replace it, but it means a lot less.

Marc said...

Sheldon - Nothing I ever do is good enough for you, is it?! IS IT?!!!

Tara - One would think so... but it seems to have passed just fine. He's actually tried getting at the crumbs that are now sitting on my desk, so he must have enjoyed it.

Mrs. McDreamy - I'm going to have to get Jäger to eat a whole lot more than that if I hope to turn into a well-adjusted adult.

BA - Yeah, reading it back now I can see that. It had a bit of an asshole ring to it so it makes sense that it was you and not your wife.

Treidi - It warms the heart to know that your bagel is still in the world. We'll always have the Brueg' my friend. We'll always have the Brueg.'

Woo - So my replacing that bloody mug doesn't warrant an end to the harrassment, eh? Just be careful Woo... I still have nude photos of you in Powell you know.

melbo said...

I was a lot more devastated to see the remains than I thought I would be. Pure empathy for Marc, of course, but looking at the pathetic remains now is pretty depressing. Bagel, I'm sorry I let Jager roam the house unsupervised. You'll be missed.

Marc said...

Amen.