Several days ago, I was looking at some breakdowns of the recent Senate vote on immigration reform when I stumbled across the most startling of statistics. Right there among the generic vote tabulations you might expect to be available on this reputable votes database (e.g., breakdowns by party, state, etc.) was a breakdown by astrological sign. Are you sh*tting me?! By astrological sign?!! So now people turn to the Zodiac not only for bad dating advice and tips on picking lotto numbers, but for political direction as well?!
I just had to give it a go.
As it turns out, although the immigration measure passed in a solid 62-36 vote, Tauruses opposed the bill by a 4 to 1 margin. Libras, however, ended up supporting the it by that same margin. Makes sense I guess. You'd think a Libra would be more interested in justice, while the ole' raging bull might have a bit of a complex about outsiders. Being a fan of the legislation myself, I was buoyed by the fact that my fellow Geminis voted unanimously for the bill.
What about Justice Alito's confirmation early this year? It seems Tauruses supported it 2 to 1, while Libras opposed 5 to 3. Could this be a pattern?! A bit conflicted myself, I'd warily supported Alito's nomination and, whadda' know? Geminis were split on it 2 to 2.
Maybe there's something to this?! Maybe all we've needed to do to find rhyme and reason inside the beltway is simply to look at the day's horoscope!!! It can't be any worse than listening to Tucker Carlson, right? I mean now all I need to know in deciding whether to support a candidate is his or her birthday. Talk about efficient streamlining!
Looks like I won't be voting for any more Tauruses.
2 comments:
Were you aware that Tucker Carlson is a Taurus before you made that final statement? I'm seeing a trend, and you may be starting a revolution.
I wasn't... but it seems fitting.
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