Who is? Apparently Representive Chris Cannon of Utah's 3rd District. Or so implies Congressional candidate John Jacob, the primary challenger currently giving Cannon a run for his money in the Republican primary next week (Jacob garnered more votes than Cannon at the State Republican Convention last month to force the primary). In an interview with the Salt Lake Tribune yesterday Jacob said:"There's another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C.... It's the devil is what it is. I don't want you to print that, but it feels like that's what it is."It seems that ever since Jacob decided to run for Congress, Satan has "bollixed" his business deals, thereby limiting the amount of money he can pump into his race. If Lucifer's really got Jacob in his sights, it naturally leads one to conclude that he's throwing his weight behind Cannon.
Guess the question we'll be asking ourselves this fall is where exactly the Prince of Darkness stands on Democratic candidate Christian Burridge.
7 comments:
Do you think kids ever sang "...Jingleheimer Schmidt" to Satan's archnemesis growing up?
**P.S. I confess, I looked up the definition of "archnemesis" to make sure I was using it correctly. Check out the second example usage sentence http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Archnemesis
I think it likely... that's probably where all this "bollixing" started.
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
His name is my name too.
Whenever we go out,
The people always shout,
There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
Dah dah dah dah, dah dah dah
The devil always votes Democrat.
He would vote for the party with no morals, wouldnt he?
Considering that Jacob lost yesterday... apparently the Devil also votes for incumbent Republicans.
Burridge ought to change the word "Utahan" on his website to "Utahn". Has anybody from Utah ever spelled it Utahan in the last 100 years?
What would you expect of a Democrat running in the land o' Republicans? If you're gonna' go against the grain, might as well go full boar.
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