The World According To Marc

Quote of the Day

2009-03-03T17:25:00.002-05:00

After "someone invented it years ago," the NY House delegation now uses the slang term getting "Schumed" to describe "being upstaged by" Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY).

The Hill, March 2, 2009

Plug for My Sistas

2009-01-28T01:55:00.004-05:00

My oldest and youngest sister have gone into business together. Their mission? To use their OCD to better the world. Their vehicle? Their new website Store & Style. Give it a whirl and see what you think. Oh... and sign up for their free weekly giveaway. It'll boost their website traffic and help them land more advertisers. (Oh... and get anyone else you know to sign up too)

She's My Wifers

2008-11-25T09:21:00.002-05:00

Melbo gets interviewed on our efforts to speak German to E.

Chinese Democracy

2008-11-22T23:42:00.010-05:00

I figured the long-awaited release of Guns 'N Roses' almost-mythic, seventeen-years-in-the-making, just-about-stopped-believing-we'd-ever-see-it album Chinese Democracy was a worthy note on which to make my less-eagerly-anticipated but still almost-stopped-believing-we'd-ever-see-it return to my personal blog.

For those unaware, I was quite-the-dedicated G'N'R fan back in the day (much to my father's chagrin, who disapprovingly used to try to steal my albums before I finally wore him down). Back when I was a sophmore, I used to hit ski slopes listening to Use Your Illusion II (hearing the song Breakdown still makes me think of getting first tracks on Snowbird's Little Cloud bowl. Driving home from midnight movies, dances, or nights out with friends, I'd often take the long way home just to crank another song like Welcome to the Jungle, Rocket Queen, Freight Train, Civil War or Sweet Child o' Mine (I could do a mean air-guitar on the steering column). And I'd even perfected what I thought at the time was a pretty solid Axl-impression (though I now seriously question how good it ever was).

While clearly not the fan I once was, I have to admit to being excited about the release of Chinese Democracy. Rumors of its pending release have popped up so often over the years that I've long since written them off. But it's here... and despite approaching it with some serious doubts (see, e.g., Rose's disasterous performance at the MTV music awards a couple of years back), the album is actually half decent. It officially drops tomorrow, but has been available on myspace since Thursday. In that time I've managed to give it a couple of whirls and it's grown on me.

Given the album's seventeen-year genesis, it's no surprise that the album sounds a little over-produced, but the songs are also all pretty tight with little to no flab. The ridiculous number of musicians that contributed to the project over the years is apparent and it cuts into the album's consistency at points (and the absence of original bandmates, most notably Slash, is sorely felt), but hearing Axl's scratchy falcetto is oddly refreshing. His lyrics are often pretty incomprehensible, but in truth they're no worse than the lyrics of countless other artists I love (see, e.g., Dave Matthews or Ben Harper). The album is an eclectic mix of sounds, genres, and styles, but, even with its sometimes over-produced feel, you still hear a little of the angry, raw, and scrappy G'N'R of yore. Here are some random somewhat unorganized thoughts I had about Axl's solo effort (while I sit and wonder just what it would have been like had he actually managed to get the band back together to finish this one off):

I love the intro rif on the title track. I think that Better manages to do a good job capturing the old G'N'R sound. Street of Dreams is a solid ballad. There was a Time is extraordinarily rich -- with about a million things going on -- but it just works. Songs like Raid N' The Bedouins and I.R.S. rock pretty hard. There is a me-against-the-world feel to the album, with Axl all-too-conspicuously comparing himself to none-other than famed-recluse and media-phobe J.D. Salinger in Catcher in the Rye. Sorry almost seems like a fitting note to end the whole thing on... with you not quite sure whether he's singing to the women or the bandmates he notoriously battled with over the years.

In sum, I think Chinese Democracy is Rose's answer the consistent chorus of criticism (much of it not too far off target) that has hounded him since Guns 'N Roses broke up the better part of two decades ago. It's Axl's chance to try and cement his legacy as one of rock's gifted, but tortured-souls and to make all the nay-sayers eat a little crow. And I have to say, I don't mind doing eating it at all.

Therapy

2008-04-29T09:36:00.001-04:00

Sick of the never-ending campaign cycle? Take a spin on this and call me in the morning.

Cliched Out

2008-04-26T22:04:00.007-04:00

I've held my peace for too long. It's time to speak out against a troubling trend that seems to be gaining momentum.

First it was the Horse Whisperer. The man who understood and had a way with troubled horses. This was fine. It was new and kind of interesting. Next came the Dog Whisperer, who, like the Horse Whisperer, could relate to and correct the behavior of difficult animals. A play off of the original, this too was bearable. Then someone decided the Ghost Whisperer would be cute. A woman with the uncanny ability to reach beyond the veil and communicate with troubled spirits. This is where things really began to veer off-course. Clue #1: Anything involving Jennifer Love Hewitt should probably give you pause.

Now... now apparently there's the Breast Whisperer.

Who seriously thought this was a good idea? I mean, I completely empathize with how frustrating breastfeeding can be. It certainly didn't come naturally to E and Melbo. (After two weeks of trying, I became a huge Similac booster, while Melbo, bless her heart, devotedly carried on the good fight). But come on people, some word-plays just don't work. There has got to be a better name than "Breast Whisperer" (especially at $150 an hour). Lactation Wizard. Breast-Feeding Guru. Master Lactator. Lactating Queen. Pretty much anything strikes me as less cringe-worthy.

On the scale of bad derivatives though... I guess I'd have to concede, if pushed, that it's better than "nipplegate" (slightly).

Bumped Into The Pope This Morning...

2008-04-16T11:27:00.008-04:00

True story. Right outside my office actually. Even got to sing Happy Birthday to him. (FYI: He's the little white splotch on the red dais that's just to the right of the gold dais).

Hold the balding, overweight, middle-age jokes please:

Here's a close up shot:

The President Bush is standing walking right where the blurry, shiny spot is on the red dais and Pope Benedictus is guy with a white head and shirt just up and to the right of him:

Guest Blogging at Times & Seasons

2008-03-01T23:36:00.012-05:00

Hey all... While I haven't been exactly the most prolific blogger of late, I did start guest blogging over at the Mormon blog Times & Seasons this past week. I'll post links here to whatever I throw up over there in case you're interested:

The Marc of the Beast

Revisiting the Church Stance on Immigration

Rock-Bottom Loser

A Sample Of Mormon Donors

Mormons and Evolution

Missionary Photos

The Secular as Sacred

Confessions of a News Junkie

The Hallmark of Monson's Presidency?

Word of the Day

2008-02-14T13:50:00.002-05:00

Obamacan: A Republican who plans on voting for Barack Obama

Flip-Floppin' McCain-Style

2008-02-13T20:17:00.015-05:00

The straight talk express broke down on the highway of political convenience today:

John McCain on torture on November 28, 2007 (CNN Youtube Debate):

[Waterboarding] is in violation of the Geneva Convention. It's in violation of existing law and... if we're going to get the high ground in this world and we're going to be the America that we have cherished and loved for more than 200 years, we're not going to torture people. We're not going to do what Pol Pot did. We're not going to do what's being done to Burmese monks as we speak. I suggest that you talk to retired military officers and active duty military officers like Colin Powell and others... how in the world anybody could think that that kind of thing could be inflicted by Americans on people who are held in our custody is absolutely beyond me.... Life is not "24" and Jack Bauer. Life is interrogation techniques which are humane and yet effective. I just came back from visiting a prison in Iraq. The Army general there said that techniques under the Army Field Manual are working and working effectively, and he didn't think they need to do anything else. [T]his is what America is all about. This is a defining issue...."

John McCain on torture on February 13, 2008 (Atlantic Monthly):

Votes against a Senate bill that prohibits the CIA from waterboarding by requiring it to abide by the Army Field Manual's limits on interrogation techniques (the same manual that McCain is praising as sufficient for our needs above).

Update: For a good primer on what's at issue with this legislation and what McCain's arguments for voting against it are, see here.

Quote of the Day

2008-02-07T23:09:00.002-05:00

Romney, apparently taking cues from Dick Cheney:

If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror.

Mitt Romney - February 7, 2008
Concession Speech at CPAC

In Memoriam

2008-01-27T22:05:00.000-05:00

President Gordon Bitner Hinckley
Born June 23, 1910 - Died January 27, 2008

2008-01-22T08:24:00.001-05:00

So I know video-posts are kind of a cop-out... but, regardless of your politics, you have to admit this one's pretty choice:

2008-01-21T14:40:00.000-05:00

Jackie Chan's Brother?

2008-01-08T23:27:00.000-05:00

[Setting: Las Vegas. January 2nd. The wife and I on our way into the MGM Grand to celebrate our anniversary at the restaurant I used to work at.]

Me: Wow. That's Johnny Chan.

Melbo: Who?

Me: Here... take the camera. I want to see if I can get a picture with him.

Melbo: Get a picture with who?

Me: Johnny... nevermind. Here. Just follow me.

Me: Excuse me. Mr. Chan, would it be alright if I got a picture with you?

Johnny: Sure, just make it quick.

[Snap]

Me: Thanks so much.

Johnny: No problem.

Melbo: Who was that?

Me: Johnny Chan.

Melbo: Is that like Jackie Chan's brother?

Me: What?! No. Haven't you ever seen the movie Rounders?

Melbo: I think so. Maybe?

Me: Well, he's a poker player. Only guy to ever win the World Series of Poker's Main Event two years in a row. He's won like ten WSOP bracelets.

[Melbo: Completely loses all interest]

[Me: Wonder if I'm the lone soul in Mormondom that's able recognize the former champ]

A Few Thoughts on Romney, McCain, and Huckabee, and the Upcoming New Hampshire Primary

2008-01-04T13:36:00.002-05:00

In the wake of yesterday's Iowa caucus results, I posted some of my thoughts on the race for the GOP nomination over at a Romney blog that I occasionally contribute to. Since few of you likely scour the political blogosphere for these sorts of posts, I thought I'd cross-post it here :

With Mitt Romney's surprisingly large defeat in the Iowa Caucus now in the rearview mirror, what lies ahead for him in New Hampshire? I think it's a must win primary for Romney. If he loses to John McCain in four days, he may choose to continue on in the race, but I think any real shot he had at winning disappears. That said, there are some big questions hovering over the New Hampshire primary.

Since Mike Huckabee relied largely on Iowa's significant evangelical base for his caucus victory, I think its impact on his campaign in New Hampshire is unclear. Huckabee doesn't have a realistic shot at taking New Hampshire, so the best case scenario for him is simply a strong showing. Given how weak he's polled here over the past year, the only place he has to go is up. The $64,000 question is how much traction his Iowa win gives him. Does he steal the few evangelical votes that there are to be had in New Hampshire from Romney? Does he win over any fence-sitters?

One thing Huckabee's win almost certainly does is make the recently tightened race between McCain and Romney there even tighter. McCain's fourth place showing in Iowa doesn't really give him the momentum that a strong third-place showing would have, but with Romney losing by so much to Huckabee, I don't think it matters. Romney's loss in Iowa after investing the significant resources he did there has the potential to raise doubts that push wayward Romney supporters to McCain.

To win out New Hampshire, Romney has to find a way to prevent any hemorrhaging from his Iowa defeat. He needs to stop Huckabee from stealing any votes (since Huckabee is more likely to steal votes from Romney supporters than those backing McCain) and he needs to try and stop McCain's surge in New Hampshire by reminding voters there why they've preferred him over McCain for most of this past year. Not an easy task when it appears that the negative advertisements and mailings Romney has employed over the past few weeks seem to have actually hurt him in Iowa and, possibly, New Hampshire. Romney needs to go negative without appearing to attack, a tough balancing act that he's struggled with at times. The good news for Romney is that if he tops McCain, it's likely the death kneel of McCain's candidacy, especially if he tops him by a significant margin.

The big wild card in all of this is McCain's most natural New Hampshire constituency, independents. He can't afford to lose indies who would otherwise vote for him but who choose to vote for Barack Obama in the Democratic Primary. In that sense, McCain and Obama are each other's own worst enemy in New Hampshire. In retrospect, the Iowa caucus results haven't settled much of anything except to underscore the fact that we still have a wide-open GOP race on our hands. With that said, what are everyone's predictions?

[Update: After Sunday night's debate performance by Mitt, I revise my assessment... A decently close New Hampshire loss does not kill Romney's candidacy. I think McCain and Huckabee fell somewhat flat last night and Romney breathed a bit of new life into his campaign by doing well when sparring them... plus, the conservative base really seems wary of McCain and looks almost desperate to coalesce around someone else.]

Sorry Melbo

2007-12-30T00:59:00.000-05:00

So back when the wife and I were dating, we used to reel off lists of Hollywood celebs we found attractive. At the top of Melbo's list was former SNL'er Jimmy Fallon (I believe she described him as 'geeky' cute) . If the choice strikes you as an odd one, take it up with her... I'm just here to break the news that he's finally hitched. Sorry Melbo.

One Small Step For E...

2007-12-29T23:25:00.000-05:00

Guess Who's Back... Back Again...

2007-12-28T23:59:00.000-05:00

I'm back in the saddle after a blogging sabbatical of nearly a two months. I never really intended to leave for that long, but work got out of control there for awhile and during the down times I just couldn't motivate myself to blog. I've got two months worth of posts simmering on the backburner though, so stay tuned.

Lance Armstrong Has Issues

2007-10-31T09:12:00.000-04:00

I'd chalk this one up to a mid-life crisis, but he seems to have already had a couple of those (e.g., here and here).

Quote of the Day

2007-10-30T22:54:00.000-04:00

"Rudy Giuliani is probably the most underqualified man since George Bush to seek the presidency.... There are only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11."

Senator Joe Biden, at the Drexel University Democratic Debate, October 30, 2007

My Love-Hate Relationship With Art Fairs

2007-10-27T16:27:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, the wife and I hit up a huge artisan fair in Alexandria. The afternoon stroll from booth to booth looking at all the handmade arts and crafts reminded me of a realization I came to in Europe over the summer. While in Switzerland and Italy this August, we had welcomed the opportunity to meander around the numerous street markets, where scores painters and craftsmen would peddle their wares. Although we ended up purchasing a handful of choice finds, I decided that I had a what you'd call a love-hate relationship with these sorts of fairs.

On the upside, I'm a big fan of good art work, even though our collection right now is pretty meager. When we can afford it, I'd love to have my house filled with nice photography, paintings, pottery, and sculptures. But for now, outside of a few nice pieces, we rely pretty heavily on mass-produced prints and products. Here's where the artisan fairs and markets come in. Original works of art and handicraft sold by the artists themselves at prices that typically blow anything you'd find at an art store or gallery away. Unfortunately, however, that's also the downside. See, I'm pretty particular about the kinds of art I like, and artists, in their drive to be original... let's just say the quality or appeal of their work can run the gamut. In my experience, avant-garde is often code for "weird as hell." So the trip to an artisan fair can end up being... well... awkward. As I stroll, I often find myself reticent to enter a lot of booths and look closely at too many items because, as I disinterestedly set down a particular work or quickly walk past a set of paintings, I'll feel the artists eyes burning into me. I'll look over, meet their gaze, and usually manage a weak smile while rejecting their work through my indifference. Sometimes I'll mutter something about the art being "really nice" or, in particularly exigent circumstances, I'll baldly lie about coming back after I check with my wife.

So if I find it so excruciating, why do I go? Why do I willingly submit to the torture? I'm not exactly sure of all the reasons why. But I think its because a good find can usually make it all worthwhile. If you come across something that's your style and that you actually are interested in buying, it's great. You get original works at a great price while also having the opportunity to shoot the breeze with the artist. We came across this one guy in Rome whose work we loved. We probably bought six or seven paintings and sketches from him without breaking the bank and ended up talking with him for the better part of half an hour.

These good experiences, however, can be tempered somewhat if you're also bargaining over the cost. The quibble over prices, for me, opens a whole 'nother can of worms. Instead of just implicitly rejecting someone's work, I'm now telling them to their faces that they aren't worth what they're asking. I try to rationalize that they've likely hiked up their prices in anticipation of such bargaining, but I never fully convince myself of it. I end up thinking of all the time they must put into their craft and what a paltry income they probably make. While I've been known drive a hard bargain on some things, haggling over prices for art just seems different than pushing someone hawking pirated watches and handbags for a better deal.

So, you don't have to tell me. I know that I'm an oversensitive schmuck. I'm never going to see these people again, they're expecting a lot of foot traffic at these events from people who don't plan on buying anything, and, in reality, they typically only need to sell a handful of works each day to consider their outing a success. I've told myself this all before, but it doesn't seem to help. I still end up feeling bad. And, like a masochist, I still end up going back for more. Like I said, it's a rocky relationship... and I don't have much hope that it's going to improve.

Elder Kirby?

2007-10-20T09:57:00.000-04:00

Robert Kirby. If you don't know who he is, people might characterize you as either sorely deprived or mercifully blessed, depending on their perspectives. For those unfamiliar with Kirby, he's an LDS columnist for the Salt Lake Tribune who has been compared to both J. Golden Kimball and a modern-day Korihor. He ends up seriously rankling some readers and is adoringly heralded by others. I tend to love the man... or at least his columns related to Mormonism.

In short, Kirby's a humorist who makes fun of just about everything... and everything frequently includes various aspects of Church culture. A former police officer who started writing a weekly column for the now-defunct Utah County Journal (this is his first article... now a cult favorite), he eventually got picked up full-time by the Tribune. As I see it, the Trib' probably liked the fact that, as a Mormon, Kirby had a longer leash to poke and prod on some issues than the paper's editorial staff. I think he's usually pretty good about not crossing "the line," but there are those who clearly feel that he should be strung up and shot (or at the least given his packing papers).

This divide in perception was made all more interesting by General Conference two weeks ago. Since then, I've been debating whether Kirby now carries a sort of unofficial Church imprimatur.... I mean, given that one of his columns was basically recounted in its entirety by Richard C. Edgley and served as the foundational lead-in for Edgley's talk (Here's the talk in case you missed it). Today Kirby posted some reader feedback he's received about being quoted by Edgley, including my favorite: "Polygamy, blood atonement, and now Kirby in Conference. I can't take it anymore. I have to leave the church."

Me personally... I could get used to hearing Kirby in Conference. Kind of gives Saturday morning a little spice.

Waiting to Exhale

2007-10-17T10:39:00.000-04:00

Worst Feeling in the World: Looking at the bar examination results list online and thinking you don't see your name.
Best Feeling in the World: Realizing that you merely glanced over your name in your state of anxiousness.

And... exhale. Whew.

Cutting Out The Crap

2007-10-14T19:08:00.000-04:00

I've been wrestling with the question of balance in my life since I started working full-time about a month ago. I've got to admit that the transition from the flexibility of student life to the structure of the salaried workforce has been a bit of an adjustment for me.

Over the past few years, the frequent break and detour have become my signature move... so much so that Melbo has fondly taken to calling me "Captain Distracto." Unfortunately, that sort of routine doesn't really jive with what's expected of me these days. At least not if I want ever want to see my son or enjoy a home-cooked meal with the family.

So I resolved to change my ways. The resolving was easy. It's the change that's been hard. A creature of habit with a law degree is prone to revert to familiar ways. We're taught to be persuasive... and persuasive we are. I can hardly say no to myself, and it's hard to feel bad after I eventually cave in because of who I was up against. Me. I can rationalize with the best of them.

And so it happens that I meander over to a nearby office just "for a second" and end up rehashing the weekend in sports for thirty minutes. I get online "just to check an email" and get off having responded to three while also having skimmed the front page of the Washington Post, New York Times, Deseret News, and the Drudge Report. I convince myself that a particular bill has to be paid "right now" or that I need to call and consolidate my private student loans "before I forget." And on and on. The end result is often me getting home later than I had hoped and bringing home more work than I otherwise would have to (errr... don't tell the wife).

Sadly, this cycle doesn't end at work. By the time I get home, I'm often so worn out that all I feel like doing is vegging' out with Melbo in front of the tube. We end up watching a lot of crap instead of things we always talk about doing (e.g., writing in our journals, working on our photo albums, knocking out a few more books on our reading lists, or saving the world).

Seeing me flailing about, pathetically trying to steady myself, God had mercy and told Dallin H. Oaks I needed some counsel. Several millions of people may have been listening to General Conference last weekend, but it's clear that Oaks intended his remarks for me personally. Maybe it's because, as a former lawyer himself, he understands my struggle, but he didn't characterize my distractions as bad; instead, he merely suggested that they weren't the best use of my time. He said:

We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives...

As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice [may be] more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all.

Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines. Of course it is good to view wholesome entertainment or to obtain interesting information. But not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it. Some things are better, and others are best. When the Lord told us to seek learning, He said, "Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom" (D&C 88:118; emphasis added).

At some level, I already knew all this. But hearing it struck a chord. I've resigned myself to the fact that balance is likely to be a life-long struggle for me, but Oaks gave me hope. While I'm not convinced an animal like myself can easily change overnight, I'm optimistic that, with time, I can at least learn to chose the better, if not the best. Tough questions still loom, however, like whether this blog rises to the level of a good or a better ('Cause there's no way in hell it's a best).

Quote of the Day

2007-10-09T22:41:00.000-04:00

"My faith and political beliefs are deeply intertwined.
I am a Democrat because I am a Mormon, not in spite of it."

Senator Harry Reid, addressing students at a BYU Devotional on Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Just Thinking Back...

2007-10-09T09:59:00.001-04:00

One big reason I decided not to go to BYU Law School.

Remixing the Sabbath

2007-10-07T14:45:00.000-04:00

So Woo has the scoop on what we might expect from Quentin L. Cook, the newly-ordained Apostle for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

"My Cheap Friends"

2007-10-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

So apparently I'm a cheapskate.

My friend Anderson would claim he's known this for years, dating back at least to the time we bickered about gas money after an impulsive road trip to California. Last night, however, it was a nationally renown and best-selling author leveling the accusation.

The wife and I went to D.C. to hear David Sedaris read some stories he's been working on for an upcoming book and a few magazine articles (here are some samples of commentaries he's done for NPR). The material was up there with his very best. He had us all bowled over laughing and managed to steal two hours from us before we knew it. He wrapped up the lecture by answering some questions and recommending a few books to the crowd, including a favorite that he keeps extra copies of on hand for those "emergency" situations when he unexpectedly feels obliged to proffer a gift.

Afterward, Sedaris stuck around to sign books and fraternize. Melbo and I waited over an hour for our shot at him. We had copies of Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim and Naked for him to sign and, as we approached him, I mentioned to him that it was ironic that he had plugged his "emergency" gift book that night because our emergency gift book just so happened to be his Corduroy. I explained that about a year ago we'd found it on clearance at Borders and had purchased 12 copies; I then pulled the four remaining ones we had had left in our basement out of a bag that Melbo brought.

Sedaris laughed and thanked us for pointing out that Corduroy was now considered a remainder book at a major book retailer like Borders. We tried to save face by pointing out that we'd actually bought a couple his other books at full price. But the damage was done. Everyone in line now knew that David Sedaris was sitting there staring at a stack of books that we'd paid a quarter of the list price for and now seemingly wanted him to sign. To assuage our guilt, he reassured us that he still got paid the same regardless of what price the retailer sold the book at. We agreed that that was all that mattered, and he insisted on signing the lot of them.

Believing we'd smoothed over my witless remark, we slid our library of books over to him, and he signed away while we curiously asked him questions and engaged in some good-natured small talk. We then thanked him for his kindness, stowed our newly autographed, clearanced-priced wunder-gifts, and went on our way.

It wasn't until we were contentedly driving home from our enjoyable evening out that my wife finally showed me how Sedaris had signed our copy of Naked:

Quote of the Day

2007-09-26T17:04:00.000-04:00

"Childrens do learn"

George W. Bush, during a speech today touting the importance of
education and pressuring Congress to extend "No Child Left Behind"

(Reuters Wire, September 26, 2007)

So I Married An Axe Murderer...

2007-09-24T22:38:00.000-04:00

You want to know what one of the weirdest things about having a full-time job now is? Life insurance. I've never had it before. Well... actually that's not really true. My credit union kicked me out a free policy that I accepted, so I think I've been covered for all of one grand these past few years. If I died, my lucky wife would have had a whole quarter of my casket paid for, or perhaps even three or four nice floral arrangements.

Now I've got the real deal though. Somewhere in the neighborhood of $400,000. It's kind of eerie walking around knowing that my death will trigger a small, tax-free jackpot. I broached the subject with a friend tonight and joked that it probably meant I had to keep a closer eye on the wife. I was touched when he said he didn't think I had to worry. That killing me wasn't worth a few hundred Gs. $5 million maybe... but not a few hundred Gs.

God Has An Attorney?

2007-09-22T21:52:00.001-04:00

So a couple of weeks ago, some joe-blow state senator from Nebraska filed a lawsuit... against God. This man, Ernie Chambers, claims to have done so as a way to protest the filing of another high-profile lawsuit he sees as frivolous while at the same time highlighting what he considers to be one pillar of our judicial system, the fact anyone can sue anyone in this country... even God (If this logic makes any sense to you, please take a moment to explain it to the rest of us).

In his complaint, the senator seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to stop "making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons," including Chambers' constituents, "who [Chambers] has the duty to represent." The complaint also alleges that God has caused "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like" which have resulted in "the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction."

Chambers claims he's tried to contact God numerous times, but the "despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon defendant 'Come out, come out, wherever you are,' has been unable to do so." In light of this, Chambers has requested that the court waive personal service because, since God is omniscient, it should be assumed that he has actual knowledge of the action. He's asked the court to grant him a summary judgment.

Well... God apparently knows a few lawyers and it seems he has, among other things, motioned for the court to grant him a special appearance just to contest jurisdiction. Even if this thing goes to trial though, God should make out alright. The thought of deposing Him has got to intimidate even the most seasoned trial attorney, and you have to figure that God's gonna' have an in with the judge and jury. On top of that, God's court submission purportedly includes a witness list with heavyweights like St. Michael the Archangel.

Behold The Fire Child

2007-09-17T23:50:00.001-04:00

Kind Of What I Expected

2007-09-16T23:16:00.001-04:00

So it's here. Tomorrow, as they say, is the first day of the rest of my life. My first 'real' job starts at 9am sharp.

No more school as a crutch to fall back on. No more waffling over what I want to do 'when I grow up'... because, apparently, I'm all grown up now.

Only this isn't quite what I'd expected being all grown up to feel like. I guess it never feels like that though. College. Mission. Marriage. Sex. Kids. Preconceived notions continually blown to smithereens.

I suppose if it were otherwise, life would be pretty dull.

So instead of bored, I sit here anxious. Hoping for the best. But not really knowing just what to expect from the next few days, weeks, and months...

Which, ironically, is kind of what I'd expect the night before my first day of 'real' work to feel like.

Go figure.

Repackaging Disney

2007-09-14T13:35:00.000-04:00

Back in high school, one way my friends and I used to entertain ourselves on slow nights was to raid the Disney movie collection of whatever house we were in and show anyone who hadn't seen them all of the "subliminal" messages in the animated films. Yeah... we were a rowdy bunch. Our favorites included:

Aladdin:

Near the beginning of the film, Aladdin's small monkey Apu, while jumping from rock to rock to avoid some menacing lava, pretty discernibly says "Oh Sh*t."
During a scene outside of Princess Jasmine's window, Aladdin appears to say "Good teenagers, take off your clothes."

The Lion King:

As Simba begins growing weary of his "Hakuna Matata" lifestyle, he retreats to a secluded cliff to reflect. In the plume of dust he kicks up as he lays down, you can kind of make out the word "Sex."

The Little Mermaid:

The cover art was a veritable playground of phallic symbols and, according to some, you could also make out the F- word in the splashing water that frames the cover's central picture.
During the wedding scene at the end of the film, the Priest performing the ceremony seems to get a large erection.

Good times, eh? So imagine my surprise when my wife and I recently purchased the Special Edition DVD of The Little Mermaid and found that not only had the cover art been completely redone to excise the offending images, the entire scene with the Priest at the end had been cut.

Is this an admission of guilt or has Disney simply decided to clean its house of misperceptions? Think of what other hidden treasures might now gone as well?! Have I been scouring Finding Nemo in vain?!!!!

Why We Need More Colin Powell

2007-09-11T00:05:00.000-04:00

"What is the greatest threat facing us now? People will say it’s terrorism. But are there any terrorists in the world who can change the American way of life or our political system? No. Can they knock down a building? Yes. Can they kill somebody? Yes. But can they change us? No. Only we can change ourselves. So what is the great threat we are facing?

"I would approach this differently, in almost Marshall-like terms. What are the great opportunities out there—ones that we can take advantage of? It should not be just about creating alliances to deal with a guy in a cave in Pakistan. It should be about how do we create institutions that keep the world moving down a path of wealth creation, of increasing respect for human rights, creating democratic institutions, and increasing the efficiency and power of market economies? This is perhaps the most effective way to go after terrorists."

Colin Powell
Circa September 10, 2007
(More of Powell's wisdom in next month's GQ)

Italy In A Nutshell

2007-09-06T18:34:00.000-04:00

I've been meaning to throw up a few blog posts about Europe for about a week now. Since it's hard to know where to start though, I thought I'd begin with a brief recap and then segue into a few random observations and hidden gems we ran across on the trip.

We embarked on our celebratory post-bar trip at the beginning of August. After bumming around in Switzerland for two weeks, we made our way to Italy. Our first stop was Florence. If you've never been, it's truly worth a visit. Our initial impressions, however, weren't so gushing. Perhaps it was the city's stark contrast to Switzerland as we drove through a ridiculous maze of streets in trying to track down our bed & breakfast. Bern might just be the cleanest city on earth while, as we drove in circles through Florence, the place seemed overrun by graffiti with shops everywhere closed up. Luckily, the city's charms quickly grew on us though. Our hotel was just two blocks from the famed Il Duomo (one of the largest churches in the world), which allowed us to spend a lot of time wandering the narrow downtown streets. The archaic street layout that so frustrated us on our arrival is actually pretty endearing. They've tried to keep it from changing too much in order to maintain the city's ancient character. There's a mess of history there, a lot of it awe-inspiring. From the famed Medici palaces, to the picturesque Ponto Vecchio, to the perfection of Michaelangelo's David, to Machiavelli's tomb. We also found out the reason for all the closed up shops we noticed on our way in... despite August being Florence's busiest tourist month, half of the city heads out on vacation. Go figure.

Next we drove the Chianti road through Siena to Rome, a city that is everything it's cracked up to be. We relished our time there... outside of having our camera ripped off that is (those damn Gypsies). From the Vatican to the Roman Forum, few cities have such a sense of antiquity. I could honestly sit inside the Pantheon for hours. One of our favorite things was all the amazing artists that lined the streets and piazzas peddling their works. We came home with more than a few pictures to frame.

After four days of tromping through Rome's many museums, cathedrals, parks and ruins, we broke for Naples. Now I'm not sure what you've heard, but I think you should know that Naples is essentially the butthole of Italy. It's only worth going to because of how close it is to so many other choice spots. We spent our two short days there first taking a boat to Capri to hit the beach and then driving the Amalfi Coast. With no time for things like Pompeii, Mount Vesuvius, or the Blue Grotta, though, we promised ourselves we'd return.

Last but not least, we returned to Switzerland by way of Milan. We only spent one night there, but as Melbo can attest, the shopping was fantastic. Melbo already wants to go back.

Some random highlights and lowlights:

Word to the wise... most of Italy hasn't heard of toilet seats yet.

The Italian police... whose idea were the hats?

Just in case it seals the deal for you... rest assured that there are segway tours of Florence.

One fine piece of ass...

A great place to buy "David-inspired" paraphernalia for the kids.

Even McDonald's got a Gelatoria.

Hands down the greatest statue I have ever seen in my entire life. Buy your own replica here.

Choice menu items... although I've got to tell you, the boiled ox tongue isn't all it's made out to be.

Italians love kids. Almost everyone we passed seemed to coo at E and we were stopped more than a few times by passerbys who wanted their picture with him.

And finally a spoiler alert. Erich's true identity... Emperor Palpatine

The Bar Exam... Or An Eight Foot Tiger Shark

2007-08-13T16:33:00.000-04:00

Okay, okay… I’ll admit it. I’m guilty of some pretty severe blog-neglect these last few weeks. I've thought of posting several times, but I could never bring myself to do it. I chalk it up to post-traumatic stress disorder. I’m coming up on three weeks since the bar and I’m just now beginning to decompress. Kind of surprising considering I've been tromping around Europe for almost two weeks now.

Actually, kicking back in Switzerland has done wonders for me, but every once in awhile the muscles in my back freeze up and I begin to panic thinking that instead of whatever I’m doing, I should really be brushing up on what Virginia's statute of limitations for defamation is or whether a bona fide purchaser of real estate takes property subject to a prior owner's unrecorded mortgage (Just typing that made me queasy). As my wife will attest, it’s not a pretty sight.

The good news is that I survived. That doesn’t mean I necessarily passed (won’t know that until mid-October), but I did manage to make it through both days of that miserable exam with my sanity intact (for the most part). And that’s actually saying a lot considering I had to spend two days in Roanoke wearing a suit.

In hindsight, I feel alright about my performance. There were a couple of afternoon essays on the first day, however, that really threw me for a loop. An email from my wife that night helped to put everything in perspective though:

“I know you're miserable, my love, but it could be worse... This is James' brother!”

Yup… you heard it right (that is if you actually clicked on the link). My brother-in-law’s brother was bit by a freaking shark last month. Unbelievably, he escaped "relatively" unscathed. Outside of a pretty nasty bite on his leg, he’s actually alright. He’s expected to walk again and has one helluva' war story to tell to the grandkids one day.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that my brother-in-law’s brother is also a lawyer, so he probably had it coming. It happens to be a timely red flag for me. The wife and I are heading to Italian Riviera next week, so I now plan on being extra careful since I’m not sure whether sharks distinguish between lawyers who have passed the bar and those who haven’t (For you naysayers, the Mediterranean does indeed have its fair share of sharks).

I’m getting ahead of myself though. The human psyche is an odd thing when you think about it… sometimes just being reminded that you could be a whole lot worse off helps you feel a whole lot better about a crappy situation. My wife and her opportune email hit the spot and put an end to my post-day-one obsessing. All things considered, you gotta’ admit that being sharkbait tops taking the bar exam on pretty much every list of crappy things a person could go through. I guess if I really want to know definitively, however, I'm gonna' to need to ask my brother-in-law’s brother (I guess I should probably thank him too).

Anyway, in addition to the article above, here’s a CNN news clip as well as a few post-surgery pics’ courtesy of my sister-in-law (view at your own risk here and here).

For those of you concerned by my lengthy blog-silence, rest assured that I’m alive and well and hope to keep posting regularly. I've put the bar exam behind me (for now) and haven’t been eaten by any sharks… yet.

Revisiting "And into whatsoever house ye enter"

2007-07-10T20:17:00.000-04:00

More on the new missionary housing policy I blogged about last month. The LDS blog By Common Consent today linked to a copy of guidelines relating to the policy that are apparently being distributed to Stake and Mission presidents.

It looks like housing missionaries will generally be a calling with those called receiving a $75 a month reimbursement. It seems that most family arrangements are fine as long as missionaries are not living “in a home where unmarried people of the opposite sex live or where the spouse of [their] own sex is frequently absent.” There is also an exception that allows Elders to “be housed with a widow who is over 60 years old.” Beyond family makeup, according to the guidelines, the structural requirements for housing missionaries are:

• A private bedroom with twin beds or a bunk bed and a clothes closet.
• A study area with a table and two chairs.
• A private bathroom.
• The use of a kitchen for meals and some refrigerator and pantry shelf space. Providing meals is not required or expected.
• The exclusive use of laundry facilities on preparation day.
• Space to park a mission vehicle and secure two bicycles.
• An environment that protects missionaries from watching TV and videos/DVDs, playing video games, listening to inappropriate music, and using computers.
• Posted cleaning schedule and reminder of house rules.
• Cell phones will be provided to missionary companionships being housed with members. Ideally a ward should have a pool of two to three qualified homes as a backup in case missionaries need to be moved from one home to another quickly. Members should not be asked to house missionaries longer than two years at one time.

The stated justifications for the change include:

• Missionary support cost can be greatly reduced.
• Missionaries [living with members] are generally more obedient, clean, and safe.
• Member missionary work can be stimulated.
• Flexibility is provided in assigning missionaries based on need, not on lease agreements.

Shovel-Almost-Crawl

2007-07-08T15:03:00.000-04:00

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Tender Moments

2007-07-02T15:22:00.000-04:00

Shameless Plug

2007-07-01T20:19:00.000-04:00

My older sister has hit the big time. She's senior editor of a new start up that's debuting this month called Organize Magazine. A type-A personality with obsessive-compulsive tendencies and a Master's in English, it's a job she was born for. The magazine seems pretty nifty, so I thought it worthy of a plug (There was a write up about it in the New York Times a few days ago). So check it out if you happen past it. The magazine should be available at any bookstore... and if organizing is your thing, you can thank me later. (PS - I'm proud of ya sis').

The Church, Politics, and Damon Linker

2007-06-25T13:28:00.000-04:00

A quick post while I should be studying for the bar exam.

Yesterday, the Boston Globe published the first in what is to be an in-depth, six-day series on Mitt Romney. While the article was fascinating in its own right, exploring Romney's childhood and upbringing on through the beginning of his Latter-day Saint mission to Paris, what caught my eye was a letter the story linked to from then-LDS Apostle Delbert L. Stapley to Romney's father, George Romney, then-Governor of Michigan. George Romney was a well-known moderate in the Republican party at the time and an ardent civil rights advocate. In 1964, Governor Romney made a trip to Utah and, while there, gave a speech in support of the civil rights legislation that was making its way through Congress at the time. After that trip, Stapley wrote to Romney in reference to his remarks on civil rights. While making clear that he was writing as a friend and not as a Church official, Stapley's letter was clearly an attempt to influence Romney on this very hot-button issue. Stapley went on to characterize the pending civil rights legislation as contravening the will of the Lord, and he seemed to attribute the deaths of several well-known civil rights leaders to the fact that they were pursuing a course which was against the decrees of God. While Stapley's opinions here were clearly his own and didn't seem to have any effect on Romney's public position on the civil rights, the incident plays into an current debate on what sort of influence the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its officials would exercise over Mitt Romney if he were to be elected president next year.

Last fall, media allegations surfaced of some purported collusion between the Romney staffers and Church officials. And earlier this year, Damon Linker, a former visiting professor at BYU, published an editorial in The New Republic arguing that Mitt Romney's bid for the presidency should be carefully scrutinized because Mormon "theology" and the Church's belief in modern day prophecy and revelation raised the specter that Church officials might improperly influence Romney in political decisions. This charge spawned a vigorous debate that quickly led to a New Republic editorial countering Linker's premise and an online exchange between Linker and Columbia History Professor (and active Latter-day Saint) Richard Bushman). Concerns of this nature, however, have not fully been put to rest and it has led to repeated calls for Romney give a "Kennedy" style speech in which he proclaims his political independence from the Church (see, e.g., here).

The publication of Stapley's letter, a pretty clear instance of a Church leader trying to use doctrinal interpretations to press an elected official on a political issue, has the potential to add fodder to these resurfacing claims, even if the letter was written as "a personal friend" rather than in Stapley's "official Church position." Ironically, I'm certain most members of the Church would clearly be very uncomfortable with the content of Stapley's letter, both as to the claims he makes and the influence he tries to exert. While I personally would have a difficult time seeing a Church official today, especially one of Stapley's stature, push a political issue in this way, I say that as an active Mormon who comes from within the religious tradition. Others outside of that tradition may not be as convinced. Even with the strong emphasis the Church has recently put on political neutrality, the heavy conservative tilt of its membership causes some to wonder whether Mormonism carries with it a de facto partisan dictate, the Harry Reids of the world notwithstanding. Beyond partisanship, others worry about what other de facto dictates Mormon doctrine might carry with it; which creates an odd situation where both secular liberals and religious conservatives are aligned as having an underlying suspicion of active Latter-day Saint candidates. The question is whether this letter, even though it's 43 years old, will exacerbate those suspicions.

'Go'Bama?

2007-06-22T19:37:00.000-04:00

Apparently bumper stickers are "last season" (scroll down to the right).

Rock-a-bye Baby

2007-06-21T23:23:00.000-04:00

Erich slept THIRTEEN hours last night.

"And into whatsoever house ye enter"

2007-06-20T22:44:00.001-04:00

We had the missionaries over for dinner last night, and they dropped a bombshell of sorts. It's kind of relative I guess because my wife didn't seem all that fazed by the news. Perhaps one has to have served a full-time LDS mission for the magnitude of it really to sink in.... or maybe I'm just weird.

The blockbuster news according to our Elders is that, apparently, all state-side missionaries are in the process of moving in with local ward members. Not all at once of course. As apartment leases expire in each area of each mission, the Bishops of those wards, I am told, are being charged with finding families in their congregations for the missionaries to live with. I use the term "family" liberally here since those boarding the missionaries have to either be a single sister over 60 or a retired couple (or something along those lines). Our missionaries' lease expires next month so we were discussing their future housing prospects. We apparently don't have an eligible retired couple on hand, so the Elders say their fate has boiled down to one of two single sisters in the ward.

All I can say is AWKWARD. I can't imagine, after each long day of missionary work, having to head home to some ward member's house every night. You'd never get to fully decompress. Retreating to the friendly confines of the ole' missionary apartment, with its cheesy displays of Mormon stock-art, motivational posters, and the assorted collection of sidewalk furniture, was how I recharged for yet another day of brutal tracting in the blistering humid heat of the Virginia summer. It was especially choice to live with another set of Elders and get some break time from your companion, no matter how much you might have liked him.

With this new policy, although it might vary depending on who you live with, generally speaking you're ALWAYS going to have to be on your A-game. I know, I know, missionaries should be living up to a higher standard anyway, but even for missionaries that's asking a lot. Structurally, I'm told, the only requirement for the accommodations is that the missionaries have to have their own bedroom and bathroom. Which basically means they could have a shadow watching their every move. They'll most likely be sharing a kitchen, fridge, and cupboard space, not to mention the common areas. I can't see sitting around the house on a P-day having quite the same allure anymore.

Despite my aversion to the idea, the move makes sense on several levels. Economically, it's a boon. The D.C. South Mission alone has to rent some 50 apartments in and around Northern Virginia and that has to add up to around $75,000 to $100,000 a month. That's not chump change. You've got to figure each state-side mission will probably net anywhere between $400,000 to $1,000,000 or more in savings a year. According to Uncle Wiki, there are currently around 105 state-side missions, so the rental savings should total up to well over $50,000,000. That's a lot of scout camps, ward Christmas parties, and wheat for the Bishop's storehouse.

The policy also will likely result in more obedient missionaries. With Sister So-and-So lurking over their shoulders, it's a good bet that missionaries will be a little more precise about when they roll out of the sack, how they do their studies, when they leave their apartments, when they get back home, and when they sign off for the night. Oh... and those Elders who might otherwise be tempted to take a midnight stroll to the bowling alley down the street probably won't be so brazen (or so we hope).

Assuming the news is true though, I guess my only question is whether it's worth a missionary's sanity?

J Cleanin' E

2007-06-12T17:42:00.000-04:00

All In The Name Of Networking

2007-06-01T11:50:00.000-04:00

So I'm now officially on my way to becoming a lawyer... and it's not because I've graduated law school or am frantically studying for the July Bar. Just how is it then? Well, I got my first set of golf clubs yesterday. A nice Tight Lies starter kit from Adams Golf. It's a graduation/birthday gift from my parents and grandfather (nicely paired with a set of six lesson at a local golf course courtesy of my wife).* I'm now well-positioned to neglect my family on beautiful sunny afternoons under the guise of "networking."

First things first though. I very much need the golf lessons. There are two things that my dad wasn't especially big on as I grew up. Guns and golf. As a result, I never got my Rifle Shooting Merit Badge as a Boy Scout because I failed the target test, and, miniature golf excepted, I've been golfing all of twice in my life (both times at Cascade in Orem so I'm not sure they really count). If you hand me a gun or a driver you're taking your life in your hands. Ironically, most of my friends are avid golfers. Perhaps that fact further dissuaded me from trying my hand at it. Who wants to be the slug with a 35 handicap?

The downside to all of this is that golfing in D.C., like the price of houses, is twice as expensive as in Utah. Good thing I've got a cush job at a D.C. law firm to help pay for my new recreational hobby. Of course that financial freedom did require selling my soul. Between my 75 hour work-weeks and my future golfing exploits, I wonder if the wife really knows what she's gotten herself into with this gift.

Sorry honey, no take-backs.

*Thanks be to BA for shepherding my family through their respective purchases.

Amen

2007-05-30T15:57:00.000-04:00

Only in Utah my friends... only in Utah.

Quote of the Day

2007-05-29T17:56:00.000-04:00

"God has spoken to me. I listen to God and what I've heard is that I'm supposed to devote myself to rebuilding the conservative base of the Republican Party."

Tom Delay, Former House Majority Leader
Quoted in "Party Unfaithful" by Jeffrey Goldberg
New Yorker Magazine, June 4, 2007 Issue

Caffeinated Mormons

2007-05-20T00:32:00.000-04:00

I recently came across a post on the LDS blog By Common Consent that featured the caffeine content of a variety of popular drinks. One particular comment on the thread got me thinking about how many of these drinks stack up to some popular chocolate products on a caffeine per ounce basis. The results are sure to keep the debate on whether caffeine is prohibited by the Mormon Word of Wisdom raging on...

Drinks	Caffeine per Ounce
Starbucks Coffee	23.3 ML
Brewed Coffee	13.4 ML
Rock Star	10 ML
Red Bull	9.6 ML
Mountain Dew	4.6 ML
Dr. Pepper	3.4 ML
Sunkist Orange Soda	3.4 ML
Coca Cola	2.8 ML
Barq's Root Beer	1.8 ML
Hot Cocoa	.63 ML

Chocolate	Caffeine per Ounce
Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips	17.5 ML
Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate Bar	12.4 ML
Regular Hershey's Chocolate Bar	5.8 ML
Reeses Peanut Butter Cups	2.5 ML

Quote of the Day

2007-05-17T12:58:00.000-04:00

"We had five boys that were 10 or younger.... I was willing to change the urine-soaked diapers, but the messier types gave me dry heaves. So my wife allowed me to escape that."

Mitt Romney
Interview for GQ Magazine's
Upcoming Father's Day Issue

An Open Letter To John Ashcroft

2007-05-16T17:54:00.000-04:00

John,

I owe you an apology big man. Your former Deputy Attorney General James Comey's testimony yesterday before the Senate Judiciary Committee convinced me that I may not have given you a fair shake as Attorney General. I used to think of you as a narrow-sighted rubber stamp who was too tightly-wound and carried a rather prickly demeanor. I'm here to say I was mistaken. Now don't get me wrong, I'm still not a fan of your politics. The original Patriot Act had some pretty troubling issues and your proposed Patriot Act II seemed like one hefty push toward a police state. Plus, you have to admit, draping a curtain in front of the Spirit of Liberty in the Justice Department was just a little weird, and, the fact that you lost to a dead guy in the 2000 Senate election and were subsequently confirmed as Attorney General three months later by a meager 58-42 vote in the very Senate you just left suggests that neither your former constituency nor your former colleagues were really itching to have you back.

But James Comey's riveting testimony (you can watch it here) does speak volumes about your integrity and your respect for the law. I'll admit to being surprised, but it was refreshing. I found it inspiring that you stood up to an attempt by the White House to take advantage of you in a gravely ill state and at a time when you had temporarily ceded your powers of office to your Deputy, Comey. To lock horns with the full force of the Executive Branch as Alberto Gonzales and Andrew Card attempted to sidestep your Deputy and a Justice Department determination that the Surveillance Program had no legal basis is no small thing. But, despite your weakened condition, you held your ground and refused to re-authorize the Program. Comey describes you as having "stunned" him:

[Attorney General Ashcroft] lifted his head off the pillow and in very strong terms expressed his view of the matter, rich in both substance and fact... and then laid his head back down on the pillow, seemed spent, and said to them, "But that doesn't matter, because I'm not the attorney general."

When the White House reauthorized the program anyway without any signature from the Justice Department attesting to its legality, the fact that you stood ready to resign, along with most of the Justice Department's leadership, made clear to me that I'd sized you up wrong. We may not agree on all the same policies, but it seems that we do see eye-to-eye on the need for the rule of law. When the Administration backed away from its position and changed its Program to secure the Justice Department's blessing—ultimately deciding to submit all of its surveillance requests for judicial approval—a Constitutional crisis was averted and the Executive branch maintained its legitimacy.

So a belated thank you John Ashcroft. On this decision, you were right on key and you truly Let The Eagle Soar.

Sincerely,

Marc

Rate Bohn's Spam

2007-05-13T17:51:00.000-04:00

Over the past few years I've developed a habit of sorts... I periodically email out news articles that I come across to people I think would be interested in them. Some might call this spam, but I like to think of it in a more positive light... as something more akin to a listserv.

It started out as just a few emails here and there to a couple of family members and a few friends. Over time, however, it's become a much larger list of family, friends, classmates, and associates. The articles I send out sometimes cover funny stories of general interest, occasionally something betraying my political bent, but, more often than not, they tend to deal in some way with Mormons or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I readily admit that I've unilaterally opted most of the current "News Group" onto the list (though a good handful or two have requested themselves on), but I tell myself that everyone must enjoy the emails since I have yet to receive any cease and desist orders. That's not saying much though. My emails very likely might be flagged and filtered as spam by some who don't want to risk offense.

Others might take a more low key approach in the form of subtle mockery. One friend, Woo, actually started a pretty entertaining blog devoted solely to chronicling and abridging "the hundreds of uninvited emails of varying quality from Marc." For a time, he essentially lampooned every one of my emails on the site (though I did manage a few positive reviews, see here and here). He's thrown in "the proverbial towel" on his gold standard of one post for every email, but it seems as though he still plans on gracing us with commentary from time to time. We'll see if he can keep a handle on inflation and manage another statistical analysis of bohnspam (my personal favorite). I should note that I've specifically asked him if he wants off the list and he didn't bite, so perhaps he enjoys the emails more than he lets on.

In any event, for those that want off the list, feel free to let me know (no offense taken). For those who appreciate the additional opportunities to bag on me, have at it. And for those who are curious enough now to want on the list, just say the word (I promise I won't tell anyone).

Hello World...

2007-05-09T23:57:00.000-04:00

Hello world. I'm back.

I've weathered yet another round of finals and managed to tie the bow on three years of law school.

Three years down... just like that. Don't get me wrong, by all accounts law school was a pretty miserable experience, but I'm still surprised by how fast it flew by. I haven't quite adjusted to the idea of moving beyond academia into the professional world, but I'm betting that preparing for the bar exam will disabuse me of that hesitation.

For the time being, I'm just relishing the post-finals (and post-law school) lull. I submitted my bar application today, and I tell ya', life is good. The difference between this week and last week is simply remarkable... No worrying in the back of my mind at all times about papers to write, reading to catch up on, outlining to do, or essay questions to prepare for. Best of all, no "next semester." I've got myself a job lined up this fall; I've passed the mantel on all of my extra-curricular responsibilities; and I've got the satisfaction of having finished one of the hardest things I've ever undertaken. I honestly think it's the first time I've fully relaxed in almost three years.

While I'm well aware that the stress is certain swing back full circle as my bar studies ramp up, it sure is satisfying to catch my breath.

Lurking

2007-04-04T17:08:00.000-04:00

Have no fear. I haven't abandoned the blog. I guess you could say I've just been lurking in the bushes a bit of late. Know that I have a few posts simmering, though, which I hope to throw on the front burner soon.

Romney Explained

2007-03-07T07:45:00.000-05:00

As some of you might have noticed, I haven't been the most prodigious blogger of late… at least not on this site. I’m going to just come clean and admit it. I've been unfaithful to my blog. For the last two months I've been contributing to another site called Law Students for Romney. Since that might strike those of you familiar with my liberal leanings as a little paradoxical, allow me to set the record straight. I am not really a law student for Mitt Romney. I am, however, an avid Romney watcher who was invited by a friend to contribute on a Romney-themed blog. I accepted, and that's that.

While I am admittedly something of a political junkie anyhow, much of my interest in Romney actually stems from the fact that he's a Latter-day Saint. As a result, I've been especially attuned to how he's presenting himself as a candidate and how the media has portrayed him and his faith.

So just what do I think of Romney and his candidacy? Frankly, I'm disappointed. I actually used to like Romney a lot. I even encouraged my sister in Massachusetts to vote for him back in 2002. Politically he was a centrist then; not overly ideological and very pragmatic. Romney was the problem solver. He spoke of compromise and bridging differences, and his rhetoric was overwhelmingly positive. Today, however, he stands in stark contrast to his former self. In less than four years he's become a staunch conservative, shifting his policy positions on a broad range of issues including, but not limited to, campaign finance, affirmative action, taxes, gun control, stem-cell research, gay rights, immigration, bilingual education, and, most well-known, abortion. He's gone from rejecting the "Reagan Republican" label, to embracing it. Now, to make clear, I'm fine with policy shifts in and of themselves. In fact, one of my criticisms of the current administration has been its stubborn resistance to change. Flexibility can be a good thing sometimes, but in Romney's case, the timing of his many position shifts raises the specter of political expediency. Add to this the hard line Romney's begun to take on important issues like immigration, foreign policy, economics, and the environment, and, for me, his candidacy really begins to lose his luster.

Chuck Todd, the incoming political director for NBC News, captures my feelings well in a recent article he wrote about Romney and John Edwards' political shifts:

[Romney] is widely respected in the business community as someone who knows how to tackle a problem, and he seems to have applied this mindset to his ideology. Technically, he's doing all the things that should please the right and make himself more palatable to conservatives.

But the mistake Romney appears to be making is that as he's fixed all the little problems with the sale of his product (in this case, himself) to niche markets, he's done serious damage to the overall brand of what he represented previously.

Romney's best traits, arguably, are the outsider tag and his problem-solving skills. But he's so bogged down in proving his bona-fides to conservatives that questions about his overall authenticity are now damaging his reputation as an outsider and a problem-solver. By getting into bed with many conservative elites, is he no longer an outsider? He's literally checking every box (NRA membership? Check; Heritage Foundation contribution? Check; and so on). The more he plays the flip-flopper and finger-in-the-wind, the less his best traits come through.

It's still early, but both Edwards and Romney need to recognize that if they lose the personal connection that once made them seem like naturals, it won't matter how well they answer the NRA or SEIU questionnaires. Voters will punish the candidates for losing touch with the people they most need to stay in touch with -- themselves.

Even more disconcerting to me is the rhetoric that has accompanied Romney's conservative turn. Rather than elevating the debate and focusing on substantive issues, Romney has adopted the hyperbole of the far right. In several of the speeches and interviews I've seen over the past few months, he's sought to demonize the left with broad, over-reaching generalizations on values, security, and economic policy. A recently leaked internal campaign document of Romney's lists France, Massachusetts, liberalism, and "Hollywood values" as "bogeymen" he intends to target. The document also lays out how Romney plans criticize the European Union for wanting to "drag America down to Europe's standards." In his speeches, Romney all too often caricatures those with whom he disagrees, erecting strawmen out of targets like France, Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Democrats, and the so-called "liberal media," which he easily knocks down for cheap applause. In the Republican primary campaign, he’s also begun to fight a somewhat dirty campaign, going so far as to unapologetically misrepresent the positions of his competitors at times.

I've never been a fan of partisan warfare, but I recognize that the realities of running a presidential campaign require a certain amount of stereotyping, generalizing and even mudslinging. That said, as I’ve listened to Romney, I've found myself much more comfortable with the rhetoric of several of the other candidates on both sides of the aisle. John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Richardson, and especially Barack Obama have, on the whole, run campaigns that pander less and maintain a more elevated political discourse than Romney's (whether this continues to hold true remains to be seen, but it's something I hope the candidates continue to strive for).

The worst part for me is that I think Romney had the potential to be a great candidate. I believed his executive experience and his pragmatic approach set him apart as someone who could really affect positive change in Washington. Now I feel like Romney is becoming just another ideologue who grandstands for the party base. My father, a political scientist, thinks that Romney believes it is the only way he has a chance with religious conservatives who are already wary of his Mormon faith. Perhaps Romney is just being "pragmatic" in how he's choosing to run his campaign, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about his candidacy. I vigorously defend Romney when his faith is attacked, but I have a hard time defending many of his policy shifts. He’s boxed himself in on a whole variety of issues. I don’t think it’s possible for him to go back to being the pragmatist that he was anymore without sacrificing all of the credibility he’s attempted to build with this rightward shift in the first place.

My Wife

2007-02-25T22:42:00.000-05:00

Thought I should plug Melbo's triumphant return to the blogosphere.

My New Favorite Ice Cream

2007-02-18T00:53:00.000-05:00

I haven't tried it yet. But I have a new favorite ice cream. It's vanilla with bits of fudge-covered waffle cone and caramel. It sounds good enough, but what puts it over the top for me is a healthy dose of "liberty".... it's Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream. In a statement released in response to this latest Ben & Jerry's offering, Colbert said "Dessert has a well-known liberal agenda. What I hope to do with this ice cream is bring some balance back to the freezer case." I say it's about time.

Fair, Balanced... and Funny?

2007-02-16T00:18:00.000-05:00

After struggling with "Fair and Balanced" for 10 1/2 years now, Fox News has decided to get into the "funny" game too. Apparently Dennis Miller's occasional guest rants weren't enough for the network... so now it's had Joel Surnow, executive producer of Fox's "24", create a "right-leaning" Daily Show knock off called "The 1/2 Hour News Hour." To promote this Sunday's premiere, Fox has been floating a couple of clips online that feature a bevy of Barack Obama jokes, a couple of predictable swipes at Howard Dean and Nancy Pelosi, guest appearances by both "President" Limbaugh and "Vice-President" Coulter, and a hearty-sounding laugh track (which, from the looks of these teasers, they'll probably want to keep handy). Call me presumptuous... but I don't think the Daily Show has much to worry about.

Back From The Dead

2007-02-13T14:55:00.000-05:00

It's good to have you back out of the blogging graveyard Hobby Horse and BillieJean.

The Mighty Wee Block

2007-02-11T12:02:00.000-05:00

You know the recycled bit on television shows and in the movies where some inexperienced character finds themselves changing a newborn boy's diaper only to have the little kid squirt directly up in their face? I'd always written the scenario off as a bit of over-the-top slapstick that wasn't all that funny... but the fact is, it's not that over-the-top and actually can be kind of funny.

A little background might help. Our second day home from the hospital, my in-laws and I were kicking back in the family room watching something-or-other we had tivo'd when we hear an anguished cry from upstairs. Melbo had been in our room with the baby Erich and, from the sounds of it, was now trying to teach him several words that babies probably shouldn't know. I exchanged glances with Melbo's mom and brother and we all bolted for the stairs, thinking collectively that something had gone terribly wrong.

What we found was urine. A lot of it. On the wall, the bassinett, Melbo, and lil' Erich, though Erich didn't seemed to mind much. He actually looked suprisingly content.

Like I said, not over-the-top and, in the end, pretty darn funny... at least the first time.

Which brings me to one of the world's all-time greatest inventions... the Wee Block. Days earlier, a close friend had given us a Captain Blast Off (essentially an athletic cup of sorts made of thick absorbent foam and cloth). We were grateful when we received it, but I don't think we knew how grateful we'd be. Melbo hadn't thought to use the block that first fateful time and, in truth, it probably wouldn't have made much difference because technique is rather important. But once you get it down, you're golden. Or not golden. Which is my point.

Long live the Wee Block.

The "Grillz" Bill

2007-01-29T18:40:00.000-05:00

State Rep. John J. DeBerry Jr. has decided to tackle some of the more important issues facing Tennessee right now. He is currently introducing a law that would prevent anyone but a dentist from taking impressions in order to make "grillz." The statute targets mall kiosks and jewelry stores that take the dental impressions and has the effect of denying the youth and the poor of Tennessee equal access to this essential hip hop accessory. Under the proposed law, only dentists could take impressions for "the fabrication of a cosmetic metal apparatus to be worn in the human mouth, whether or not such apparatus features silver, gold, or platinum caps, jeweled inlays, or any other cosmetic features." DeBerry says of his bill "I guess we can't outlaw the jewelry for your mouth, but we can make sure that it if your children go in there, they are not getting an impression of their teeth with a mold and material that someone else has just used." I say the hip-hop generation should rise up and protest this reprehensible intrusion on the group's urgent claim over its own destiny and body, claims implicit in the very meaning of liberty.

World Meet Erich

2007-01-20T03:33:00.000-05:00

What Will Happen To Them?

2007-01-15T17:55:00.000-05:00

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, here's a stirring excerpt from the last speech Reverend King ever gave, I've Been to the Mountain Top. If you're interested, you can read or listen to the address in its entirety here.

[In the parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus Christ] talked about a certain man, who fell among thieves. You remember that a Levite and a priest passed by on the other side. They didn't stop to help him. And finally a man of another race came by. He got down from his beast, decided not to be compassionate by proxy. But with him, administered first aid, and helped the man in need.
Jesus ended up saying, this was the good man, because he had the capacity to project the "I" into the "thou," and to be concerned about his brother.

Now you know, we use our imagination a great deal to try to determine why the priest and the Levite didn't stop.

At times we say they were busy going to church meetings--an ecclesiastical gathering--and they had to get on down to Jerusalem so they wouldn't be late for their meeting. At other times we would speculate that there was a religious law that "One who was engaged in religious ceremonials was not to touch a human body twenty-four hours before the ceremony." And every now and then we begin to wonder whether maybe they were not going down to Jerusalem, or down to Jericho, rather to organize a "Jericho Road Improvement Association." That's a possibility. Maybe they felt that it was better to deal with the problem from the casual root, rather than to get bogged down with an individual effort.

But I'm going to tell you what my imagination tells me. It's possible that these men were afraid. You see, the Jericho road is a dangerous road. I remember when Mrs. King and I were first in Jerusalem. We rented a car and drove from Jerusalem down to Jericho. And as soon as we got on that road, I said to my wife, "I can see why Jesus used this as a setting for his parable." It's a winding, meandering road. It's really conducive for ambushing. You start out in Jerusalem, which is about 1200 miles, or rather 1200 feet above sea level. And by the time you get down to Jericho, fifteen or twenty minutes later, you're about 2200 feet below sea level. That's a dangerous road. In the day of Jesus it came to be known as the "Bloody Pass."

And you know, it's possible that the priest and the Levite looked over that man on the ground and wondered if the robbers were still around. Or it's possible that they felt that the man on the ground was merely faking. And he was acting like he had been robbed and hurt, in order to seize them over there, lure them there for quick and easy seizure. And so the first question that the Levite asked was, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But then the Good Samaritan came by. And he reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?".

That's the question before you tonight. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to all of the hours that I usually spend in my office every day and every week as a pastor?" The question is not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" "If I do no stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?" That's the question.

Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation. And I want to thank God, once more, for allowing me to be here with you.

He's Coming to America...

2007-01-11T15:15:00.000-05:00

Behold the mighty Beck'. Sure he's aging former superstar who's years past his prime... but he still BECKHAM. And, as of today, he's also America's. Goodbye Real Madrid, Hello L.A. Galaxy.

The Best Resume Line Ever?

2007-01-05T19:48:00.000-05:00

A line from the resume that a friend recently submitted with his law school applications

In Cold Blood

2006-12-31T18:08:00.000-05:00

So I need to confess to something... I'm a murderer. Yup, that's right. I hate to admit it, but I'm a cold-blooded killer. Last night, I violently took the life of one of God's little creatures. A small field mouse that somehow found its way into our home.

For the last two weeks its been an escalating war. I first caught sight of him while cleaning the house for a party at the beginning of December. I'd been kneeling under the table when I felt something brush past me. The little sucker scared the me half to death. I turned and chased him across the kitchen only to watch him take sanctuary under the fridge. I grabbed the broom and swept behind the fridge, not thinking beforehand just what I'd do if he came running out. Nothing happened though. Next I moved the fridge which succeeded in sending him scurrying into the adjacent bathroom. I quickly shut the bathroom door and tucked a towel under it to buy time to formulate a battle plan. Armed with my broom and a large plastic bowl, I laid siege to the bathroom. But again, nothing happened. Baffled, I waited until the first party guest arrived and had him help me do another sweep of the bathroom, but the mouse had somehow made his escape.

That's when the mouse droppings started appearing. First in the pantry and then under the sink. The job of finding and disposing of the droppings somehow got assigned to me. Soon I decided to do some major reorganizing. Throwing away anything he may have gotten into. Moving the easily accessible stuff into safer cupboards. And securing everything like pasta into extra ziploc bags. I also made room for mouse traps... lots of them.

Melissa picked up the traps from the store. She started with the humane ones that claim to catch mice unharmed so you can release them into the outdoors. Newsflash people... they DON'T work. Days went by and we caught nothing but turds. Our mouse had quickly realized the plastic boxes with swiveling doors were trouble and stopped wasting time on them, choosing instead to go straight for our packaged goods.

I followed up Melissa's purchase with some plastic snap traps. Our pantry and the cupboard under the sink looked like mine fields, with traps strewn every which way. These proved to be mere obstacle courses for our gladiator mouse. I tried baiting with everything from cheese, to crackers, to peanut butter, to nuts. I must have repositioned the traps some twenty times. Nothing worked and the droppings continued. I grew weary of obsessively checking the traps only to find them empty with nearby fecal matter taunting me.

Late one night, I opened the pantry and caught the furball sliding down the shelving affixed to the door. He slipped past me (startled and frozen in my tracks) and into the living room. With plastic bowl and broom in hand I went to work again, moving all the furniture in sight. I spent over an hour cursing loudly and scouring every inch of our front room, but to no avail. Damn mouse bested me yet again.

That's when the gloves came off. I went for the industrial-strength, heavy duty traps. Huge plastic, glue-filled trays (about 4 inches by 8 inches) that claimed to be the end-all and be-all of mouse traps. They were pre-baited, but I wasn't taking any chances, so I topped them off with crackers. The traps were everything they were made out to be. Three hours after they were set, our fourteen day siege was over. I came downstairs around 10pm last night to find our mouse sprawled across one of the glue trays.

Little did I know that the worst was yet to come. Mr. mouse was hopelessly stuck, but very much still alive. Not only that, he was... cute. When I picked up the tray, I was horror-struck to see him contorting his body in every which way vainly attempting to free himself. It was horrible. I felt like I was torturing Stuart Little. I fooled myself into thinking I might be able to free him, so knife in hand I went out to the backyard. They weren't kidding when they said this stuff was heavy duty though. My effort to scrape him off the glue pad only seemed to be making things worse. That's when I grudgingly resigned myself to the hammer. I slid the tray into a plastic bag in an attempt to censor the cruelty. I thought a little blow to the head would put a quick end to his misery, but instead lil' Mickey screamed and kept squirming. I hit him again and he screamed again. Aghast, I forced myself to hit him a couple more times just to make sure he was gone.

Thoroughly disturbed, I slipped the tray into a garbage bag and we laid the little mouse to rest in our trash can. Melissa said a few parting words and we tried to forget about the whole ordeal, but I'm haunted now. Visions from childhood plague me... the Rescuers, the Littles, the Secret of Nimh... even Jerry. Nostalgic mice are coming out of the woodwork of the past to exacerbate the guilt... and it's working. I don't miss the mouse poo, though.

The Beard

2006-12-26T09:34:00.000-05:00

So I haven't shaved since the end of July. Why? I guess I'm not quite sure. I stayed pretty clean shaven all summer while working at my firm, so perhaps it was a reflexive reaction to the tyranny of frequent shaving.

I'll come right out and admit it. I've never been a big fan of the daily shave. It chafes. While I was a student at BYU (where the honor code requires men to be clean shaven) I even got myself a "beard card" (a shaving exemption requiring a doctor's note). The official line was that I had a mild case of pseudofolliculitis barbae and so my doctor "prescribed" me facial hair.

Left to my own devices, I typically shave every week or so. My current beard started out as nothing more than pure laziness. As I wrapped up my summer work, I jumped on a number of home improvement projects and shaving just wasn't a priority. Once I'd made it past the "sandpaper" stage (usually a week and a half or two), Melbo stopped complaining (er... as much). From there, the beard just gained momentum. It became something of a conscious undertaking. I decided if I was ever going to just "let it all go," now was my chance. I had no looming interviews, no clients to impress, no events to oversee, and no weighty Church callings to live up to. It became sort of self-perpetuating. The longer it grew, the more curious I became to see how long it could get.

Five months long now and my curiosity has been satiated. Maybe if I was tending a lodge in Alaska I'd have more patience, but as things stand now, enough's enough. So as part of Melissa's Christmas present, I shaved this weekend. In stages of course.

The first left me with lambchop sideburns that hung two inches past my jaw (of which there is no photographic evidence). Then I went to the biker bush (this was a big hit at Church). And finally I scaled back to the well-trimmed goat. I'll probably stick this out awhile. While growing a beard is fun... it's suprising what a little shave does to Melbo's libido.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

2006-12-25T11:54:00.000-05:00

Kiss of Death

2006-12-18T00:13:00.000-05:00

So it seems as though my support can be the kiss of death, politically speaking. For the second time in two months a presidential hopeful that I've liked has dropped out of the run for the presidency. Two months ago it was Mark Warner, a centrist Democrat from Virginia, who cited family considerations as the reason for his decision. On Saturday, it was Indiana Senator Evan Bayh, another centrist Democrat, who claimed simply to be facing up to the political reality that he didn't have enough support this cycle.

While I'm sad to see Bayh go, I certainly understand his decision. Running for president these days is a pretty brutal undertaking and declaring an intent to run when he didn't think he could win would be nothing short of masochistic. The Democratic field already has its heavyweight contenders in Barack and Hillary, its second fiddles in John Edwards and Tom Vilsack, and its also-rans in Joe Biden and Dennis Kucinich (with Chris Dodd and Bill Richardson sandwiched up there somewhere in between). Perhaps it really is best for the relatively young Bayh to avoid the damaging shrapnel that tends to fly during presidential primaries and instead begin plotting for '12 or '16.

Guess Who's Back... Back Again...

2006-12-17T22:11:00.000-05:00

So the well's been relatively dry at the ole' blog of late. Finals this semester were absolutely miserable and my inspiration has lagged as a result. Beware though, it's five days removed from the hellfire now and my senses are beginning to return. I've got a lot of posts simmering on the backburner and more than three weeks of vacation to waste away (uninterrupted by travel mind you... Melbo is about to pop and the doc's advised us to stay put).

Peter Bis Revisited

2006-12-09T22:43:00.000-05:00

Earlier this year I posted about an intriguing fixture up on Capitol Hill, a homeless man named Peter Joseph Bis that sits greeting passerbys making the trek from Union Station to the Dirksen, Hart and Russell Senate Office Buildings. Yesterday, our local NPR affiliate did a short segment on Peter that I thought some of you might be interested in.

The Election In Hindsight

2006-11-30T11:30:00.000-05:00

This shouldn’t come as a shock to most of you, but I think the Democrats’ resounding victory in the election three weeks ago was a good thing for the country. Six years of virtual one-party control in Washington disrupted national priorities, short-circuited cooperative party interaction and limited productive administrative oversight. Worst of all, it derailed the vital deliberative process essential to healthy democracy.

Does that mean that the “glory days” are here? That somehow Democratic control of Congress will solve all the nation’s thorniest problems? No, of course not. Politics is politics. Party shifts never fully exorcize special interests pandering, pork-barrel projects and the ethical gaffes so endemic to American political life. That said, good things await us. Here’s why:

(1) No More Monopoly of Power
For 12 years Republicans in Congress have used procedural rules to suppress Democratic legislative proposals, amendments, and input, and curb minority party rights. They excluded Democrats from the legislative Conference Committees and held votes open for hours to strong arm wavering members to toe the party line. House Speaker Dennis Hastert even had a policy of only allowing votes on legislation that had support from a majority of the Republican majority, regardless of whether there was enough bipartisan support to pass a bill. Republicans also froze out Democratic lobbyists and sought to impose permanent institutional changes on the entire lobbying industry to advantage Republicans. Over time these policies had a corrosive effect on compromise, bipartisanship, and policy-making.

(2) Increased Bipartisanship
Both future Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and future Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi have made clear that they intend to work with the President and Congressional Republicans when the Democrats take power. Both Reid and Pelosi have stressed that they will treat Republican lawmakers “more generously” than they were treated as the minority party. Two days after the election, Pelosi met with President Bush and both vowed cooperation. Reid has similarly emphasized that Democrats “want to work with [the Republicans] to get things done. We want to be part of a Congress that functions.” With only a razor thin majority in the Senate and the specter of a presidential veto, Democrats will need to reach across the aisle to achieve their legislative goals. I believe they will, and as they do they will find some receptive Republican leaders. As governor of Texas, President Bush showed he could work well across party lines. Given the political necessity of it now, he will be inclined to do so again. Mitch McConnell, the incoming Senate Minority Leader, is someone disposed to bipartisanship. Reid and McConnell are said to have a solid working relationship and neither has his sites set on the presidency, both things that bode well for legislative compromise.

(3) Change of Policy in Iraq
The Democrats already forced a change of course in Iraq simply by virtue of winning the election. In the wake of what President Bush described as an electoral “thumpin',’” the President promptly sacked Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, a man whose prickly leadership style and poor management of the war effort in Iraq had begun to stir up a rebellion of sorts within both the military and the Republican ranks. The man Bush appointed to replace Rumsfeld is a political realist much more palatable to Republicans and Democrats alike. He is very likely to diverge from the neo-conservative philosophy that has governed much of our policy in Iraq.

Beyond this, Democrats will continue to spur change by pressuring the Bush Administration and actually seeing to a long-neglected Congressional responsibility, holding substantive oversight hearings on the war effort in Iraq. While President Bush clearly will not heed calls for an immediate withdrawal from Iraq (a move I agree would be unwise at this point), I’m convinced that Democratic pressure will prompt the President to reevaluate just what our goals in Iraq are and what exactly “success” there means. Next week, the bipartisan Baker-Hamilton Commission is expected to announce its findings and policy proposals, which purportedly recommend a marked reduction in US troops in Iraq by 2008 and reaching out to both Iran and Syria to help stabilize Iraq. On the heels of their electoral victory, Democrats will be in a position to push the Administration to implement the Commission’s recommendations. Even if the President chooses not to adopt these recommendations, because of the demands he will be facing on the home front, the President will be in a better position to pressure Iraqi Prime Minister Al Maliki to strengthen the Iraqi government and quell the sectarian tensions that have erupted. Moreover, substantive Congressional oversight hearings (of which there have been almost none) will help our military efforts by holding the Administration, the Pentagon, and all the civilian contractors in Iraq accountable for their performance. This sort of counterbalance is desperately needed given the Administration’s reticence to acknowledge mistakes and its tendency to offer grossly over-optimistic assessments of the war.

(4) A More Fair and Sound Economic Policy
Democrat leadership has pledged to reign in pork-barrel earmarks, reduce the deficit, and implement a more fair tax policy. All of this will be done with an emphasis on helping middle and lower class families and reducing the growing disparity between rich and poor, a disparity that Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke has warned could harm the economy. The Democratic economic proposals on the table include:

Raising the Minimum Wage: The Democrats want to raise the minimum wage by $2.10 an hour. Along with most Americans, I think this is right thing to do. The minimum wage has stayed constant for almost 10 years while consumer prices have risen 25%. Some conservatives fear this will simply raise unemployment, but they are hard-pressed to show that the minimum wage increases of the 1990s had that effect.

Fixing the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT): Democrats want to raise the level at which the AMT kicks in. The AMT sets a minimum tax rate (around 27%) for the richest tax payers so that they can’t use deductions, shelters and loop holes to avoid paying their income tax entirely. Because of inflation and rising incomes, households affected by the AMT are expected to balloon from 3.8 million households this year to more than 30 million in 2010 (and ensnaring millions of middle-class households).

Make Pork-Barrel Earmarks More Transparent: Earmarks on legislation have gotten out of control in recent years. Part of the problem is that members of Congress could attach them anonymously. Speaker-Elect Pelosi says the first thing on the Democrat agenda in January is to require that sponsors of earmarks to be identified.

Increasing Support for Education: Democrats have pledged to cut the interest rates on student loans by almost half (Congress raised them earlier this year). They also want to increase the maximum Pell Grant available to low-income students from $4,050 to $5,100 and have considered making up to $12,000 a year in tuition tax-deductible (or giving out an equivalent tax credit). These are all proposals I strongly support (though I fear that even this isn’t enough to defray to skyrocketing). Democrats also plan to revisit No Child Left Behind Act to try to fix its deficiencies and ensure that it is fully funded before considering reauthorization.

Expand the Earned Income Tax Credit: Democrats are discussing enlarging the earned-income tax credit which currently gives families with two or more kids $4,536 to offset payroll taxes. This is a smart, market-centered way to help low-wage workers because it allows them to keep the difference if the credit exceeds what they owe in taxes.

Income Tax Changes: Several Democrats have floated a number of tax code changes, some which I’m pretty amenable to in order to ensure that social programs I think are important are provided for. These include raising the income tax on the very top tax bracket from 35% to 36% and allowing the cut in the maximum tax rate on capital gains and dividends taxes to expire (this was cut to 15% in 2003).

Balancing the Budget: Speaker-Elect Pelosi has promised to restore a House rule from the 1990s that required new spending to be offset by spending cuts or tax increases and the new Budget Chairmen are calling for a balanced budget within five years. While some might target this as window dressing, I think it would have a positive effect on the mindset of congressional appropriators as they approached drafting the federal budget.

Economic Shock Absorbers: Democrats have discussed expanding government programs that cushion the fall of those who lose jobs in our country’s rapidly changing economy. These might include targeted federal programs offering help with health insurance, wage-loss, and job retraining. Ultimately, better preparation before and more assistance after job losses would help workers and diminish calls for protectionism (i.e. these are trade-friendly proposals)

Changes to Medicare: Democrats have also talked about making changes to the Medicare that would save the federal government billions. These proposals include giving the government the ability to negotiate with Drug manufacturers on drug prices (much like the negotiating power that the Veterans Administration has) and reducing billions in what Democratic leaders claim the government overpays insurance companies that run Medicare’s managed care programs. These proposals are, in a sense, band-aids. But with such a slight Senate majority, Democrats are not in a position to do much more. Ultimately, I’m in favor of more progressive health care reform that does not depend so heavily on company largesse.

(5) Ethics Reform
Democrats back a stronger ethics reform package. Republicans this past year stripped any meaningful lobbying reform provisions from the proposed reform legislation in the months following the Abramoff plea deal in January. As the Democrats prepare to pick this legislation up, they plan on putting several substantive amendments up for a vote. Whether all of these provisions will pass is still in question (there are Democrats who aren’t crazy about all of them too), but allowing each to be introduced to a full floor debate and vote is sure to result in a much more sweeping ethics reform package than would have passed had the Democrats not been elected. In fact, had the Democrats lost, any real chance at a substantive lobbying reform bill would have been scuttled because Republicans would have been left with the impression that the public had moved passed the various ethical scandals that have plagued Congress these past few years.

(6) Comprehensive Immigration Reform
Democrats are much more likely to pass the comprehensive immigration reform legislation that, although supported by the President, stalled in the House last summer. The Senate bill that passed last year struck an important balance in that it provided for increased border security while also dealing humanely with those undocumented immigrants that had been living in the US for years. This was in stark contrast to an earlier House bill that was almost draconian in its approach to undocumented immigrants.

(7) Energy Policy and the Environment
Just by winning the election the Democrats already appear to have had what I consider a positive effect on energy companies and the environment. Democrats, as a whole, simply take environmental concerns like global warming more seriously. A Democratic victory also ensures that the government will focus more on investing in alternative forms of energy and energy conservation rather than rushing to open pristine wildlife preserves like ANWR to drilling (Let me make clear that I’m not opposed to drilling to meet our energy needs, but I would want a more bipartisan, non-ideological survey of what damage might be done to the fragile eco-systems in question and whether that harm is worth the estimated oil reserves we are tapping into). A Democratic victory also prevents the passage of any more duplicitous legislation like the “Blue Skies Act” and the Healthy Forests Initiative that have actually loosened environmental protections.

(8) Overriding the Stem Cell Research Veto
In retaking the Senate, the Democrats appear to have won enough votes to overcome President Bush’s veto this summer of the Stem Cell Research Enhancement Act. The bill won passage by a 63-37 margin in the Senate, not quite large enough to override a veto. But four of the Senators who voted against the bill (Allen, Dewine, Santorum and Talent) were defeated in November’s election, giving the measure what seems like a veto-proof 67 votes.

(9) A More Moderate Democratic Party
This election swept a large number of conservative and moderate Democrats into office. By fielding a broad range of centrist candidates this year, the Democrats ran competitive races in a large number of “red” states and districts. As a result, the two moderate Democratic Caucuses in House of Representatives, the Blue Dog Democrats and the New Democrat Coalition, got 24 new members between them (with some overlap). Similarly, in the Senate three of the new incoming Democrats, Bob Casey (PA), Jim Webb (VA), and John Tester (MT), all come from centrist-conservative stock. This moderate bloc has already begun to put forward centrist legislative proposals.

What does this all mean? Well, as Nancy Pelosi herself pointed out the day after the election, it means that the Democrats will “have to govern from the center.” Some doubt whether Pelosi has it in her to do this, but I think those that do underestimate her. She wants to make her mark as a successful Speaker of the House and to do this she clearly understands that she must work with moderate members of her own party as well as House Republicans and the President. Harry Reid, considered a moderate in his own right, faces an even more difficult task in governing a very evenly divided Senate (51-49). Those who know him best, including several stalwart Republicans, have expressed confidence in his ability to lead in spite of the challenges. Republican consultant Sig Rogich has said of Reid “His personality will be more conducive to being a majority leader than minority leader. He has always been more of a consensus-building type than the over-the-top partisan that his current role has demanded.”

In Conclusion
Certainly there are still many traditional liberals like Charlie Rangel who will be chairing Committees in the new Congress, but look at who these congressmen are replacing. Republicans like Bill Thomas, James Inhofe, Jerry Lewis and Peter Hoekstra are just as extreme as their liberal counterparts. I don't think there is a net loss there. In spite of ideologues, I think that this Congress will, overall, produce better legislation that addresses many of the problems I am most concerned about. The “liberals” have a large wing of moderate Democrats to keep them in check, and the Democrats, as a whole, will keep conservative Republicans in check.

I am really buoyed by the moderating influence that Democrats will have on a broad range of legislative and policy initiatives on the environment, energy policy, intelligence and national security, foreign policy, judicial confirmations, the economy, health care, and oversight. I think they will provide an important check on the President and Congressional Republicans and, through the ensuing gridlock, we’ll manage to come away with more compromise and better all-around legislation.

Why Obama's a Class Act

2006-11-21T13:58:00.000-05:00

The year is 2004. A small town reporter for the Henry County Daily News finally builds up the courage to talk to the apple of his eye (a foxy intern for a competing paper) while attending a press conference held by then state senator Barack Obama. This local reporter even manages to sit next to her, probably flirting with just the right amount of charm and humor. No doubt motivated in part by the desire to sweep his coveted intern off her feet, he stands to ask a question during the question-answer period of the press conference... and that's when Obama declares open season on him in front of hundreds. As casanova tries to spit out his question, Obama cuts him off:

“Wait a minute son, this is for professional media only” (Obama)

“What do you mean? I work for the local paper,” (love-struck reporter)

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were a college student. You have such a baby face,” (Obama)

Our reporter turns back only to see his dream girl laughing at him right along with everyone else... and bam, just like that, a budding romance is crushed underfoot. The resentment over a love lost, however, has been nursed for over two years now.

That is... until Obama made things right last week.

Er... Sore Loser?

2006-11-10T17:03:00.000-05:00

In a little followed race this year in Texas's 1st Congressional District, Democrat Roger L. Owen challenged the Republican Representative Louie Gohmert for his seat in Congress. Owen got smeared in the general election on Tuesday 68% to 29%. And while Owen's party won back control of the House, the Senate, and a majority of the nation's Governorships, losing his own race apparently still didn't sit too well Roger. He now claims to no longer consider himself an American or a Southern Baptist... oh and it seems he plans on leaving the country too. We'd ask where, but he's made it clear that we're not to contact him.

Update: Just in case anyone was interested in Mister Owen's past criminal history and the special interest groups who were actually responsible for his conviction:

Why I'm Studying To Be A Lawyer

2006-11-01T21:45:00.000-05:00

This summer Melbo and I decided to take on a little home remodeling... I clearly had no idea what I was getting myself into. Our plan was to gut the main floor and install wood flooring, new tiling, a new kitchen, and a revamped bathroom. We kicked off the festivities in August after I finished my time as a summer associate. My brother-in-law, a contractor from cheesehead country, drove down to volunteer two weeks of his life and we went to work (aided by the generous help of my father-in-law and my other brother-in-law). We managed to finish the floor, set the tiling, build a new mantel and hearth, and install most of the kitchen before my contractor brother-in-law had to take leave.

Sounds good, right? Well... that's when school started back up. The remaining remodeling work (the "finishing touches" including caulking and grouting tile, finishing the kitchen, plumbing, re-doing the bathroom, painting, etc., etc.) stretched itself out painfully over the next 6 weeks. It was pure misery. Luckily Melbo's mom came into to pinch hit with the painting (a veritable lifesaver) while her dad did some bullpen work in the bathroom (he's a quintessential jack-of-all-trades), but we ended up living in a state of perpetual construction for almost two months nonetheless. And while there's still a long list of little to dos (like replacing our kitchen ceiling fan), at least the drapes are hung and the semi-normal life of a law student has resumed. We're now relishing the home improvements... and, through it all, I've even learned something. I'm not sure I could hack being a full-time handyman.

So Long Mark Warner

2006-10-14T17:46:00.000-04:00

In case anyone failed to notice, I retired a link on my sidebar last night. Yup... it's true, one of my early favorites for the 2008 presidential election has bowed out of the race early by declaring he is no longer considering a run for the presidency.

I liked Mark Warner. He was a centrist Democrat who had a history of reaching across the aisle to get things done. He wasn't overly idealogical in his views, and he decried the bitter partisan atmosphere that has engulfed politics in recent years. I believe he is a good man who would have made a good president.

In announcing his decision, Warner said:

This past weekend, my family and I went to Connecticut to celebrate my Dad's 81st birthday, and then we took my oldest daughter Madison to start looking at colleges.
I know these moments are never going to come again. This weekend made clear what I'd been thinking about for many weeks that while politically this appears to be the right time for me to take the plunge at this point, I want to have a real life.
And while the chance may never come again, I shouldn't move forward unless I'm willing to put everything else in my life on the back burner.
This has been a difficult decision, but for me, it's the right decision.
It's not a decision I have easily reached. I made it after a lot of discussion with my family and a few close friends, and ultimately a lot of reflection, prayer, and soul-searching.

It remains to be seen whether a moderate can weather the primary process anymore, but in the hope that one still can, I'm now leaning the way of Senator Evan Bayh.

Game On

2006-10-13T10:11:00.000-04:00

PokerStars, the second largest online poker company, should put on a clinic in the art of statutory interpretation. They're currently doing quite the interpretive two-step in response to some anti-gambling legislation that Congress unexpectedly passed last month as a rider to a pretty uncontroversial port safety bill. The Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act purports to ban basically all online gambling, something it defines as "a sporting event or a game subject to chance." So what is an online gaming company to do? Well, PokerStars just announced that its lawyers have determined that the Act doesn't apply to it. How might it make such a claim that you ask? Simple... because Poker is not a game of "chance," but of "skill."

Greatest Ballot Initative Ever...

2006-10-12T00:17:00.000-04:00

Ready or not... it's that time again. Election season. Regardless of how you feel about it, every two years October inevitably brings with it four weeks of complete and total saturation in all things political.

Candidate campaigns running ads 'round the clock, political pundits analyzing every last sneeze of their random samples in an effort to predict election outcomes, and ballot initiatives on everything from banning gay marriage to raising the minimum wage smothering you from the left and the right in a vain attempt to swing your vote.

It's almost enough to make you want to throw in the towel and cry "uncle"... unless you live in Arizona that is. Why you ask? Because Arizona has what some argue is the greatest ballot initative ever up for a vote this fall. It's a proposal that would award one lucky Arizonan voter $1 million big'uns just for casting a ballot. If it helps you conceptually, think of November 7th as "Powerball Tuesday"... except you don't have to pay anything to pick your numbers and you are exempt from any guilt if gambling happens to be against your religion (it being your civic duty to vote and all).

Question is, as apathetic as Americans are, is this really the key to voter turnout? And if it is... who's likely to benefit more? The Repubs' or the Dems'?

A New Baby

2006-09-29T22:26:00.000-04:00

As many of you know, the wife and I are currently expecting... but I have a confession to make. We already brought home a new baby earlier this month. Yes, that's right. Three weeks ago today, we welcomed a shiny new Vespa 50 LX to the family.

My brother-in-law calls it a glorified leaf blower, but I tell ya', it can sure fly for a leaf blower. It's certainly not a crotch-rocket, but it can cruise at speeds up to 50 mph. Plenty fast to get me to the store and shuttle me to the nearby metro and back, and slow enough to keep the wife from nagging me too much.

I've run up a hefty 212 miles on it so far and haven't even burned through 2.5 gallons of gas yet. A refreshing change of pace to the rape I experience at the pump with my car. Unfortunately, however, the bike did just incur it's first war wounds (In case anyone was in doubt, doing a Chinese fire-drill on a clutch-less scooter while holding onto the throttle is a bad idea). The way I like to see it though, I no longer have to worry about that "first scratch" anymore. A weight has been lifted... and our baby now has that much more character.

Mormons ≠ Cool?

2006-09-27T13:15:00.000-04:00

"[Y]ou can't be a Mormon and be cool! But I'm trying my best!''

Brandon Flowers
Lead Singer for The Killers
Quoted in the Observer Magazine
(Hit Tip: David Kennedy)

He Said... He Said...

2006-09-26T15:13:00.000-04:00

"And I will make decisions based upon -- the level of troops based upon the recommendations by the commanders on the ground. If they tell me we need more troops, we'll provide more troops. If they tell me we've got sufficient level of troops, that will be the level of troops."

George W. Bush, November 29, 2005

"Many of us routinely asked for more troops. There simply aren't enough troops there to accomplish the task."

Retired Major General John R.S. Batiste, September 26, 2006

Former Commander of the 1st Infantry Division of the US Army in Iraq

Quote of the Day

2006-09-19T16:15:00.000-04:00

When asked why he wouldn't accept campaign contributions from political action committees or community groups, Ken Wegner, a Republican congressional candidate from Nevada's 1st district, used an analogy comparing campaign fundraising to extramarital temptation. He explained to the Las Vegas Review-Journal that:

"I have a really cute secretary. My wife's had a few kids, doesn't have a great body anymore and my secretary is really hot... It's that first kiss that's going to kill you. My secretary just wants a kiss."

Campaign finance issues aside, I say Wegner's a brave man. I'm pretty sure my wife would be demanding a new secretary on principle.

"Guys" and "Places"

2006-09-17T23:00:00.000-04:00

A friend recently wrote about the phenomena of "Guys"... how when you live in a certain place for an extended period of time you amass an army of "Guys" to do just about everything. People typically have a "Car Guy", a "Jewelry Guy", an "Investing Guy", and maybe even a "Fix-it Guy." I'd say that your doctor, dentist, and hairstylist could all qualify as "Guys" too. Overtime you come to depend on and, in many cases, implicitly trust these "Guys"... you return to them faithfully and usually recommend them to others (I've channeled at least two dozen people to my former "Car Guy" in Utah).

These "Guys" are one of the reasons that moving can really suck. You pick up your life and truck half-way across the country and you're back at square one. You eye all of your new service personnel with suspicion until they gain your trust, a process that may entail an awkward "dating" stage with several "Guys" until you find one that works for you.

I think the same is true for "spots" or "places." After living in an area for awhile, people usually settle on their favorite restaurants, burger places, concert venues, stores, ad infinitum. Often out of the way or lesser known, they are places you love to take others to, especially when they may not have known about them.

I've found this is especially true with the outdoors. When I lived in Utah, my friends and I had our favorite camping spots, hiking trails, ski/snowboarding resorts/runs, climbing routes, natural hotsprings, canyon firepits, etc. We found these places and developed our preferences over the course of years, and we always enjoyed sharing our finds with others. Sliding Rock was one of these places. It is a natural waterslide formed by the icy run off of Lone Peak in Alpine, Utah (see Melbo on the left). First shown to me by a friend's former girlfriend, it became a place I loved to bring people to (even after local residents gated off the trail).

Moving to the D.C. area necessarily entailed losing all the "Sliding Rocks" we'd found over the years. Our first month in Virginia we went camping and ended up pitching our tent in a commercial camplot because we didn't know where else to go. While it's taken a couple of years and a LOT of so-so recommendations, we've finally begun to find new "places" to call our own... and among them is a new Sliding Rock.

Just before summer break wrapped up last month, we sneaked off to some nearby mountains for a day with some friends and discovered White Oak Canyon, a gorgeous hike nestled in the Shenandoahs that has several impressive natural waterslides... including one that's even bigger and faster than our beloved Sliding Rock (see me on the right). While the search goes on to keep finding new "places" to replace those old "places" we left behind, finding something like White Oak Canyon almost makes up for the lack of respectable ski resorts any where in our vicinity. Well... actually, that might be stretching it a bit, but it was a nice find nonetheless.

Note: It has been pointed out that, embarrassingly, I failed to give proper credit to the individual who brought Melbo and I to White Oak Canyon... as such I'd like to publicly thank this kind GW International Law Review Articles Editor.

Why I Love Colin Powell

2006-09-14T11:13:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, former Secretary of State Colin Powell sent a letter to John McCain stressing Powell's opposition to White House efforts to amend the Geneva Conventions as part of its current military tribunals legislative proposal. The bill being pushed by the White House essentially redefines how the United States understands and complies with Common Article III of the Conventions (i.e., it would "legalize" techniques now understood to be prohibited under Common Article III):

"The world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism. To redefine Common Article III would add to those doubts," Powell wrote. "Furthermore, it would put our own troops at risk."

Powell is certainly not alone in his belief that the proposed legislation is bad policy. He joins former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Jack Vessey, Democrats, and Republicans John Warner, Lindsey Graham, and John McCain, among others, in opposing the President on this issue. Not bad company to be in.

Pipe Dreams

2006-09-08T11:36:00.000-04:00

When you're a teenager, you typically have lofty visions of what your life is going to be like. As you think about your future, you have all sorts of ideas of things you'd like to do and careers you'd love to have. These usually mirror your interests at the time. Back in the day my friends and I would dream about, among other things:

Circling the globe in search of the endless winter (ala Endless Summer II)
Becoming pro-snowboarders/skiers
Designing ski/board/skate/outdoor equipment
Becoming independent filmmakers (ala Jackass and/or skate/snowboard/skiing flicks)
Making it as musicians
Becoming journalists for Rolling Stone or some snowboarding/skiing magazine
Opening an independent music venue/lounge
Opening a skate shop/skate park
Making killer investments and living off the fat of the land

My friend Geoff Tice dreamt of inheriting some inordinate sum of money and buying a huge house, complete with all the fixins' (a skate ramp/park, swimming pool, pool table, huge screen T.V., etc.), where all of his friends could live and/or crash. This would preferably have been in some SoCal town right near the beach (like some skater friends he had in High School).

Soon, however, reality set in. We got in line and acqueisced to more traditional fields of work. In the process we've become (or are on the road to becoming) accountants, lawyers, teachers, professors, social workers, techies and/or managers of some sort. We have day jobs with offices or are slaving through grad school. We have families and responsibility and have lost those grand visions of our youth.

Most of us that is. I do have one friend that dropped out of college several years ago to become a professional cyclist. He's now sponsored, lives in Austria, and rides for Volksbank.

Another friend, Geoff Tice (the kid with the pipe dream above), seemingly had given into "the man," graduating in communications from BYU and settling down with a nice job for an ad agency in Salt Lake... but now he's turning back to the roots that most of us have begun to forget. This past year he came up with an idea for an online snowboarding magazine. Initially many of our friends thought it was just another bright idea that would burn out under a bushel. But Tice, while slugging through his day job, hired a web-designer, sought out and signed several pro snowboarders, and worked to drum up advertisers for the site. He sold a duplex he owned in order to finance his efforts, and, this past week, brought the project online. While Tice's magazine may make you feel like an old hack who's become part of the establishment, it's definitely worth a look: www.snowblahg.com. Who knows, you might just find yourself crashing at Tice's pad in a few years.

Refresher on Government Hierarchy

2006-09-06T01:27:00.000-04:00

"Let me explain the government to you. There’s God, then there’s the president and then there’s my father."

— Jack Roberts, the 6-year-old son of Chief Justice John Roberts, overheard speaking to one of his young peers on the last day of summer camp (as reported by the Examiner)

Play of the Day

2006-09-04T00:57:00.000-04:00

AND HE COULD... GO... ALL... THE... WAY...

My dear friends, I'm pleased to introduce you to the little squirt that will be my son
(due January 15th)

Of Prisons, Dwarves and Lawsuits

2006-08-30T14:51:00.000-04:00

In 2002, I interned for a semester at the D.C. Prisoners' Legal Services Project, a non-profit that advocates for prisoner rights within the prison system. The Project sought to ensure the proper treatment of inmates and to hold correctional systems accountable for misdeeds. It primarily dealt with issues like inadequate prison facilities, proper access to medical care, religious freedom, and prison guard misconduct. As an intern, my job was to sort through all of the incoming mail (the "intake") and respond to it. I first had to dispense of letters that:

(A) had no point (with the amount of time prisoners have on their hands, trust me, there were a lot of these)
(B) requested services we didn't offer (e.g., help on criminal appeals) or
(C) made claims that stretched the imagination (prisoners can get surprisingly creative)

I responded to these with a standard form letter that explained the scope of the Project's mission and suggested other organizations that might be in a better position to help (ain't nothin' quite like pawning someone off on someone else, eh?). I then would sift through the rest of the letters and determine which I thought would be a good use of the Project's meager resources. This determination typically required me to get more details about whatever the alleged problem was through written correspondence and, often, prison visits (to conduct more thorough interviews and clarify key points at issue). I then would write a memorandum with my recommendations of what should be done in a particular case and present it to the Project's Executive Director. Often I would be directed to write a letter or make a phone call to the relevant authority to ask for some corrective action. This usually brought about a back and forth with the prison bureaucracy and eventually some sort of acceptable resolution. If all else failed we would then consider filing suit on the prisoner's behalf.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, since my internship I've become fairly attuned to issues involving the efficacy of our correctional system. News stories along these lines usually catch my eye and, because of my experiences, I can spot a winner. What's a winner look like? Well… this one’s a gem:

A 4’1” dwarf who served 20 months for dealing marijuana and possessing methamphetamine is suing the prison he was incarcerated at for injuries he sustained as a result of negligence by the prison.

Byron "B.J." Rhodan, an aspiring rapper also known as "Lil Dirty," claims that two years ago while he was confined at the Georgia Diagnostic and Classification Prison in Jackson, Georgia, a guard ordered him to shave. When Rhodan couldn’t reach the mirror above the sink in his cell, the guard told him to stand on the sink. Rhodan claims he slipped in his attempt and landed hard on cement floor. The fall severely aggravated a back condition caused by his dwarfism, one for which he had already undergone multiple surgeries. Rhodan alleges a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act, and he’s seeking unspecified monetary damages.

Now in my four months at the Project, I handled a ton of cases. Many of which involved prison guards and/or prison facilities. Few were this entertaining though. Inmates accused guards of a lot of things... overlooking violence, arranging for enemies to be near one another (let's just say shivs' aren't folklore), denying vital medical care (e.g., insulin shots and even cancer treatment), refusing to cater to religious dietary restrictions (everyone wants to be Muslim in the joint... apparently their food's better), running drugs (how did you think the smack gets in there), excessive beatings (seems to happen frequently), and even demanding sex for favors (usually more of a problem with female inmates). They also complained endlessly about shabby prison facilities... toilets that shot water up into the air (do they know people pay for that in some countries?), very large spiders/cockroaches/rats (TFB better not get incarcerated), and cellblocks without cable television (how they supposed to watch their Oz?!) .

Sometimes listening to people complain was about all we could do for them... other times the situation gave us leverage (e.g., we once got a paraplegic transferred from Leavenworth because the place has no wheelchair ramps). I can't say I ever remember a case involving dwarfs though. Wish I had had one. Writing the warden on a case like that would have been good times. Interviewing Lil Dirty might have been even better. You have to admit, the little guy seems to have a point... prison's gotta' be tough for a four-footer in a six-foot world. And shaving on that sink must have been a bitch. Not sure how much this case is worth monetarily, but I say we certainly could have had fun with it at the Project.

And The Winner Is...

2006-08-22T09:53:00.000-04:00

Who says Brigham Young University is no longer a dynasty? For the ninth straight year BYU tops Princeton Review's list of "Stone-Cold Sober" schools (a ranking based on a combination of survey questions concerning the use of alcohol and drugs, hours of study each day, and the popularity of fraternities). BYU also placed first in the "Don't Inhale" and "Got Milk" categories (on how widely the student body partakes of beer and marijuana, respectively), and came in a strong second in the "Scotch and Soda, Hold the Scotch" category (on how widely hard liquor is enjoyed). Wait a minute... is that right? Do jack Mormons at the 'Coug (along with the one or two of BYU's ten non-LDS students) really like their Jim Beam a wee bit more than their Bud Light?

Blueberry Memories Revisited

2006-08-21T00:12:00.000-04:00

Just over eight months ago I wrote about an odd memento that sits atop my desk... or should I say sat. It was a nine-year-old blueberry bagel loaded with sentimental value. Now all that sentimental value is rotting in my dog's digestive tract.

We came home from dinner Friday night to find Jäger sitting among the scattered remains of my petrified keepsake. From the look in his guilt-ridden eyes, it was clear he sensed he'd done wrong. I sentenced him to a couple of hours in the crate to think things over, but the deed was done. The bagel was no more.

Knowing how much it meant to me, my brother-in-law kindly suggested that I save Jäger's next poop and allow it to petrify until suitable for display. He reasoned that it wouldn't be anymore disgusting than setting a nearly-decade-old bagel out on public display. I thought about it for a minute, but ultimately decided against the petrified poop. Jäger's been known to eat that stuff too.

This Week's Sign That The Apocalypse Is Upon Us

2006-08-16T10:13:00.000-04:00

In the grand tradition of Sports Illustrated's long running Apocalypse watch, I give you this week's sign that the apocalypse is upon us: The textbook publisher Freeload Press is offering free college and graduate school textbooks that are laced with keyed advertisements.

"Textbook prices are soaring into the hundreds of dollars, but for some courses this fall, students won't pay a dime. The catch: Their textbooks will have ads for companies including FedEx Kinko's and Pura Vida coffee. A small Minnesota startup called Freeload Press will offer more than 100 titles this fall -- mostly for business courses -- free of charge. Students, or anyone else who fills out a five-minute survey, can download a PDF file of the book and store it on their hard drive to print."

But what if a University is worried about distracting or inappropriate ads? Have no fear:

"Freeload's ads won't be distracting, will be placed at natural breaks in the material and won't push products such as alcohol or tobacco. Schools with other concerns could customize their standards. For instance, Brigham Young University, founded by Mormons in Utah, could nix ads for caffeine products."

Gotta' love the incredibly random BYU plug in Washington Times, eh? So, what does a "non-distracting" advertisement look like you ask?

How's that for spicing up your homework? I guess if the ad pages are numbered, they might help you feel like you are making progress on your reading by giving you a few pages to skip. Honestly though, outside of giving you the munchies in class, I don't see that many drawbacks. But then again, I'm part of the Google generation that is selling my soul to advertisers. Considering the cost of most of my textbooks (even those bought used), I'll be the first to admit that I'd take the Freeload Press up on its ad-laden copies if they offered any textbooks I needed... just so long as they placed no ads for caffeinated products of course (err... except maybe Mountain Dew).

Huh?

2006-08-07T09:27:00.000-04:00

Patrick Swayze is the latest Celeb' to come to Mel Gibson's defense over anti-semitic remarks Gibson made during a DUI arrest this past week. Swayze says this incident won't end Gibson's career and... err... apparently we just need to slap the "pit bull" and move on?

"When you are a pit bull, and you love what you do and you are going to continue to grow, that talent will find its way out... Talent deserves to be honored. Hands deserve to be slapped if you do something stupid as well, but don't take it too far" (Washington Post).

Rejecting Legislative Extortion

2006-08-03T23:18:00.000-04:00

Cheers to the Senate Democrats for defeating a measure tonight that basically amounted to legislative extortion. Republicans, most of whom have staunchly opposed Democratic efforts to raise the minimum wage (and voted against raising it just over a month ago), attached a $2.00 an hour minimum wage hike to the permanent repeal of the estate tax (dubbed the "death tax" by opponents). The repeal would eliminate the tax on estates worth up to $5 million and drastically reduce the tax on estates worth up to $25 million (currently estates worth up to $2 million are spared the tax as are family-owned farms regardless of their worth). Previous attempts to permanently repeal the estate tax have continually failed, leaving the issue hopelessly stalled in the Senate. This is where the extortion comes in.

Republican opposition to raising the minimum wage is costing the party politically in the run up to the mid-term elections, as almost 83% of Americans support such an increase. So in a purely political move, Republicans threw the minimum wage increase into a bill that would have repealed the estate tax (something Democrats vehemently oppose). The idea was to force Democrats to vote against the minimum wage proposal in order to nullify any political advantage Democrats enjoyed on the issue. If, by some miracle, the measure passed, then Republicans would at least have secured a major political coup in repealing the tax and could also campaign on having raised the mininum wage they really didn't want to raise.

Democrats wisely didn't take the bait. Raising the mininum wage should be done on its own merit. We should not have to accept a misguided federal tax policy that centers on preserving aristocratic estates in order to give those scraping by on minimum wage a long awaited cost of living increase.

A Little Disappointed

2006-07-28T18:49:00.000-04:00

In D.C., law firms that hire summer associates typically pack their summer calenders with a slew of social events. You'll always have a couple of standard dinners at a Partner's house as well as some obligatory happy hours. Beyond that, anything's fair game. My firm also took us on a dinner cruise, to a couple baseball and soccer games, as well as to a few plays, movies, and comedy clubs. All in all a pretty good summer... except that I'm still feeling a bit unfulfilled. Why might you ask? Because I never got to segway.

Segways, in case you're unclear, are two-wheeled, self-balancing, scooter-like contraptions that bury the needle at a zippy 12.5 miles an hour. Everyday in D.C., mobs of tourists sporting "F.B.I. Agent" T-shirts purchased for 2 bucks from some street corner vendor cruise around the city on these speed demons as part of any of a number of organized tour groups.

For one reason or another my firm thought it would be a knee-slapper to make public spectacles of us summers' by setting us up to segway around the city like tourists. The thing is, I was all about it. With a tour group named "Segs in the City" tapped to herd us about, is it really any wonder?

Unfortunately, we got rained out on the night of the big tour. And it didn't just rain, it poured. The IRS building is closed until 2007 because of leakage from the rain that night. So alas, we were forced to reschedule... and what do you know? It rained again. I swear it rained for two damn weeks straight. We could have been in the Pacific Northwest for all we knew. We tried to set another tour up one last time, but the summer was more than half over and there just wasn't another workable tour night.

Why am I so bummed about it? Well... because I don't think I'll ever do a segway tour on my own. Having the firm plan the tour for me gave me an out. I'm not sure I could bring myself to pay for one. That said, I'm now a little fixated on these two-wheeled little gizmos. What's behind this fascination? I'm not quite sure other than to say that I seem to relish being the geek at times. Back in high school I used to show up to disco-skating on Saturday nights in a graduation gown and a Slash wig. The idea of strapping on a bike helmet and dodging sidewalk traffic while running in a pack of segways just sounds like a smashing good time. Apparently, however, this allure isn't universal. A couple of summers' at the firm swore they wouldn't be caught dead on one of these suckers... said they were "morally" opposed. Perhaps they aren't aware of how cool segways have become... from bad-ass Jackie Chan to Elvis-loving Junichiro Koizumi to also-ran John Kerry to the Chicago P.D., everyone seems to be riding these things of late. In fact, George W. even gave one a whirl not too long ago, although for purposes of full disclosure, I should note that he did encounter a bit of trouble (see below).

Which brings me back to my discontent. It's lasted long enough now that I'm wondering if I'm destined to crack at some point and cough up the money for a tour. Or maybe I could just rent one and hit the D.C. streets (and beyond) on my own. I've seen people take these things into office buildings, restaurants, and even the a Senate office building. I'm certain I could handle a segway better than Bush. I'd be a regular old Homer Simpson on the thing..."Fly, Segway, Fly!" (My only problem would be coercing someone into joining me).

2006-07-25T22:48:00.000-04:00

Congrats Robbie

My New Sidebar

2006-07-20T22:01:00.000-04:00

I like to read. Actually, I love to read. This love has instilled in me a corresponding love for books and most things book related. For example, the first pieces of furniture that the wife and I bought after getting married were bookshelves. I can literally wander around a Barnes & Noble or a Borders for hours without losing interest. Get me into a Costco and it's trouble... I usually leave with three or four books I hadn't gone in intending to buy. This compulsion has lead to a rather sizeable book collection. The problem is that while in law school I can't read much of anything not school-related without feeling guilty for all the school-related things I should be reading (...unfortunately for me, surfing the internet isn't as guilt-ridden). This has naturally led to stacks of newly purchased books that sit gathering dust. For instance, this past year I thought it would be interesting to read books by both (Conservative) Justice Antonin Scalia and (Liberal) Justice Stephen Breyer and compare their jurisprudence (I know... I'm a geek). I haven't cracked the spine of either. Last fall, I also purchased, among other books, Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling. While I did flip through a couple of pages during the semester, I didn't start reading it until after finals. Over the Christmas break, I managed to burn through about 200 pages of the hefty, but fascinating biography... and then, once again, school hit. Despite my best efforts, over the next four months I failed to read more than 20-or-so pages. Every time I'd set aside time to sit down and plow through it, I'd have to read back a dozen pages to re-orient myself. Come summer, however, I got back on my game. I finished the Rough Stone by mid-June. My hope was to put a dent into my dust covered stacks this summer, but alas, I've gotten lazy and dug myself a pretty big hole. It's mid-July and I still haven't finished my next book. I'm beginning to doubt that I'll make much headway on those stacks. To motivate myself, I've added a book section to my blog sidebar. I figure this way I might possibly read a little faster in order to avoid the embarrassment of having the world know that I'm currently reading the teenage-girl-coming-of-age bestseller, The Secret Life of Bees. My wife is making me read it... I promise.

Loosening Up the G8?

2006-07-19T13:25:00.003-04:00

Now I'm going to need to check with my wife on this... but Angela doesn't look too happy and part of me thinks the problem is really just with Bush's technique.

Gay Marriage and Personal Revelation

2006-07-15T14:10:00.000-04:00

I tend to vascillate between serious and not-so-serious in my posts on this blog. This one is more on the serious (and religious) side, so consider yourself forewarned. You see, over the past month and a half I've found myself taking a pretty nuanced position on issues relating to homosexuality. I've written two letters that seemingly lend support to opposite positions, though I don't personally find them contradictory.

The First Letter

The first letter I was asked to write by my Church. Almost two months ago, the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sent a letter to its congregations throughout the United States urging its members to "express themselves" to their Senators about an upcoming vote on a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.

This letter kept me thinking for days. I believed (and still do believe) that the proposed amendment was a political smokescreen, brought as part of an effort to rally the Republican base before the mid-term elections (other legislation brought with the same intent includes a nonbinding resolution rejecting a timetable for pullout in Iraq, a constitutional amendment giving Congress the authority to ban flag-burning, and an outright repeal of the estate tax). There was no real doubt that all of these measures would fail, but they were brought, in my view, so that candidates could point to them during the upcoming election.

I should note that I don't see the Church's motivation in distributing this letter as "political" beyond the immediate issue (to the contrary, a revised statement on political neutrality the Church issued in March may well have been intended to blunt the "political" impact of this letter). But that didn't make it easier for me to write my Senators in favor of what I saw as a political ruse. I just don't think that a constitutional amendment is a good idea from a policy point of view (In the interests of full disclosure, I should tell you that I generally don't oppose the idea of civil unions). Several reasons I am opposed to a constitutional amendment are:

1) Marriage has always been regulated by the states and should continue to be. State regulation in no way contributes to the "inevitability" of gay marriage. A series of recent court decisions bolsters my position here. On July 7th, the Supreme Courts of Georgia and New York held that same-sex couples are not entitled to marry because laws defining marriage as between man and a woman are not unconstitutional under their respective state laws. On July 10th, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court upheld the validity of a proposed constitutional amendment that would prohibit future gay marriages in the state. And on July 14th, the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals reinstated a gay marriage ban in Nebraska, while the Tennessee Supreme Court dismissed a challenge to a proposed ban on the Tennessee ballot this fall. Furthermore, states are protected from the enactments or judgments of other states that might recognize gay marriage as a result of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act. This is significant since we have no indication that the U.S. Supreme Court stands ready to strike down this law as unconstitutional.

2) The wording of the amendment is troubling to me, as it could bar things like civil unions (which, as I said, I tend to support) and marginalize a large segment of our society.

3) The push to ratify this measure among the states would prove terribly divisive and would essentially turn all upcoming elections into one issue campaigns. The myriad of other issues that affect our country day to day and have a much greater impact on our lives would not receive a thorough political vetting, and the end result would be bad policies that leave everyone worse off.

4) The measure simply does not have the support to pass. It only garnered 48 votes in the Senate… three short of a majority and miles from the 67 votes a constitutional amendment requires. This outcome was not in any way a suprise, and the road to ratification by three-fourths of the country's state legislatures doesn't look any easier.

The Church, while making clear where it stood on this issue, only asked in open terms for its members to express themselves to their elected representatives. In my mind, this was an honest call for members to reflect deeply and honestly on their feelings and communicate them to members of Congress.

I very much believe that God does not expect blind obedience from his children. We are entitled to receive spiritual confirmation of anything that is asked of us, especially if we are troubled or doubtful about it. President Wilford Woodruff once admonished the Saints (Ch. 11 Manual):

"Whenever you are in doubt about any duty or work which you have to perform, never proceed to do anything until you go and labor in prayer and get the Holy Spirit. Wherever the Spirit dictates you to go or to do, that will be right; and, by following its dictates, you will come out right."

In spite of a lot of thought and prayer on my part, I still didn't feel good about supporting the amendment. So I instead choose to simply relay my concerns about gay marriage while also emphasizing my reservations about a Constitutional amendment:

Senator Warner,

I am opposed to gay marriage on religious grounds. While I am open to the idea of civil unions through which committed gay partners can bestow legal benefits on one another, I don’t think this should be allowed under the rubric of marriage because the institution is inseparably intertwined with religious ideas of sanctification and morality. Marriage has a very specific historical meaning and using the term as a universal legal descriptor for formalized gay relations would essentially be forcing cultural and moral "acceptance" of the practice on millions of Americans who, like me, might hold religious beliefs finding homosexuality wrong.

That said, I am VERY wary of amending the Constitution and think that on this issue pushing a constitutional amendment would be bad policy. Traditionally, regulation of the marriage relationship has been left to the states. Currently, the Defense of Marriage Act protects that states from the acts of another state's courts or legislatures. The proposed Federal Marriage Amendment is not needed and would deeply divide the country for years. I oppose the amendment and ask you to think about states' rights and the consequences of a drawn out fight to ratify this amendment as you vote on this issue.

Thank you,

The Second Letter

The second letter I wrote in response to a touching testimony borne during the Sacrament Meeting of a local LDS congregation. On June 4th, a law student who just graduated from Georgetown spoke of his struggle with homosexuality from the pulpit along with several other gay students. Empowered by the reaction he received, the law student emailed a copy of his testimony around, and a friend of mine at Georgetown sent it along to me. Although I had reservations about a couple of points he made, the testimony moved me and I wrote the law student to thank him for his heartfelt sentiments. His response to that email differed greatly from the initial testimony he had emailed out. It was scattered and more of a call to arms on the issue of gay marriage. He sought to enlist me in a movement to pressure BYU and the Church to change their policies toward gays. This was my response to him:

[Law Student],
I hope this doesn't upset you, but might I humbly suggest that your most recent email to me seems to depart from the Spirit of the testimony you first shared. I don't claim to understand the issue of homosexuality, or how it should be handled by the Church, or how God will handle it in the life to come. I would paraphrase Nephi in saying that I do not know the meaning of all things, but, nevertheless, I know that God loves his children. I am sensitive to the plight of gay members in the Church and wish to do all I can to embrace them, love them and fellowship them. What I won't do, what I can't do, is crusade against the First Presidency of the Church. While I'm not one who believes I must accept whatever I hear without a confirmation of the Spirit, I do think I have a responsibility to sustain my leaders in their callings.
When Brigham Young was President of the Church, he had differences of opinion with then President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Orson Pratt on several occasions. Brigham once came to Pratt and told him that certain materials that Pratt was circulating were not doctrinally sound. Pratt responded that he realized it was not his prerogative "to teach publicly that which the President considers to be unsound." But he asked that Brigham would "grant me as an individual the privilege of believing my present views" and that he would "not require me to teach others... that which I cannot without more light and knowledge believe in." Brigham granted him that. Once saying "I do not have it in my heart to disfellowship people who believe differently... I seek merely to correct men in their [improper] views." With respect to Pratt, he said "I am determined to whip Brother Pratt into it and make him work in the harness.... If Elder Pratt was chopped up in inch pieces, each piece would cry out Mormonism is true."
While we are certainly not at the level of Apostles of the Lord Jesus Christ, I think the principle remains the same. As members, we are not required to believe that which has not been confirmed to us, but if we hold beliefs or views that contradict a stated position of the Church, it should likewise not be our prerogative "to teach publicly that which the President considers to be unsound."
While the line between doctrine and policy or personal opinion is often more than a little blurry, on the specific issue of acting out on homosexual tendancies, I think the Church has been unambiguous. Perhaps that might change one day, but it will only change by revelation from the Lord, not by public pressure.
I love you as a brother in the Gospel [student's name]. Though I don't know you well, I deeply long for you to stay in fellowship with the Church. I know you have struggles that many of us don't understand; struggles that you are grateful for; struggles that have made you who you are. But I pray that you don't let those struggles deprive you of full fellowship within the restored Gospel and all the blessings it brings with it. You are in a position to touch the lives of others within the Church. Much as Paul told the Corinthians, you can "comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith [you yourself] are comforted by God." I don't think contending with the Church's position on homosexual relationships is the way in which to do that though.
I have no doubt that you are earnest in your feelings and sincere in your desire to follow Christ, even in this matter. I know from personal experience that determining the Lord's will can sometimes be difficult undertaking though. I often struggle to ascertain whether I am truly following the Spirit or rather just what I want the Spirit to be telling me. I struggle with the "nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done." In seeking to follow the Spirit as you so visibly want to, just make sure you are not imposing your own will on the Lord.
Remember, as Henry B. Eyring's father once counseled, that you don't have to believe anything that isn't true. I would urge you, however, not to lose faith in the Prophet through this all. Don't lose this bedrock of your testimony. Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and all the prophets that followed them were certainly not perfect, but we've never believed in the infallibility of prophets. We support them, however, because they were called by the Lord. I've recently been reading the Joseph Smith biography Rough Stone Rolling and it is apparent that Joseph made a lot of mistakes as Prophet. He admitted as much himself. But the Church survived (and only survived) because stalwart members followed him nonetheless. Support the Prophet. If you feel strongly on this issue, then you can support him with the assurance that one day the Lord will make everything right, in his own time.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you the best of luck on the bar and pray that the Lord will watch over you.
Your brother in the Gospel,

While nuanced, I don't find my positions in these letters at odds with one another. Although I declined to support an amendment the Church had endorsed at the same time I was encouraging someone to sustain his Priesthood leaders, I don't see any contradiction in both supporting the leaders of the Church and following my conscience. I think as a member of the Church I am called to do both. We are all entitled to receive direction in determining the course of our lives and the decisions we will make. I don't think God expects any of us to simply embrace an issue or a position if we have earnestly sought divine guidance but have yet to receive a spiritual confirmation of the thing for ourselves.